Tuesday, January 31, 2006

St. Augustine, W., and 17 more days

OMG!....Let me tell ya! St Augustine was WONDERFUL! As most of you know I took the 7 hour drive from Athens, GA to St Augustine, FL this weekend so that I could go on a date w/ long time friend, W. (Does that make me completely pathetic that I would travel that far for a date...ah...who cares.) Not to sound like Tony the Tiger or nothin' but....IT WAS GRRRREEEAAATTTT! We were both just curious to see what would happen if we went on a date, so we agreed to give it a try and since I was looking for a reason to get out of the state and to somewhere warmer, we decided that I would go visit him at his company condo on the beach in St. Augustine. It was BEAUTIFUL! The beach was cool, breezy, and enjoyable to be on. Especially when you had someone to share it with. I really wasn't expecting anything from this weekend. Just a little fun and whatever else happened, w/ no strings attached and knowing that no matter what, if all else failed, we'd still be close friends as always. However, I come home hoping that things will eventually become more than that. We didn't make any commitments before I left, but agreed that we would leave it open and just let things happen as they may and just see where it goes from here. We shall see I suppose, but I'm really hoping.

Scary thing is, I came home after this weekend behaving like a HS girl w/ a major crush (which is something that I have NEVER done). I was even freakin' giggling. GIGGLING!...ME?! I NEVER giggle. It was scary in a way but OMG! I wouldn't change it for the world. B. says I make her want to pull her hair and scream ,"Gag me w/ a spoon" b/c I sound like such a sap. L. just laughed at me and didn't really say much. She hasn't really heard as much of it as B. has, but enough that she knows what all has happened and what's going on. B. is just all up in the sh*t I guess you could say, b/c she's the one that I will typically talk to about it. L. and I are usually talking about her drama, she tends to keep enough of it to hold a complete conversation and make me forget what I was going to talk about..lol. Plus, L. usually just wants the basics where B. wants all the nitty gritty juicy details. There were plenty to be had on this trip and should be interesting to see what happens the next time. Can't say that R. has been really overjoyed about the whole thing. He got kinda down in the dumps about it, but I can't keep hiding and with-holding things b/c I think it might hurt him. That's not good for either of us. He has to start letting go and moving on more than he has. We can stay friends no problem, that will be fine, but a relationship is out of the question at this point. I have two rules for any relationship. 1.) Communication is KEY, w/o it there is no relationship, and 2.) Don't cheat on me. If you wanna mess around w/ someone else at least have the decency to break up w/ me first. Doesn't seem like much to ask I would think, but for some reason I haven't found a guy yet that has been able to stick to my rules.

*Sigh* Oh well. Maybe things will progress w/ W. and he'll be able to. If not....he can hit the curb just as quick as the rest of them. I think that he and I already have the communication thing down. We're both blunt and out spoken and for the most part feel free to say whatever is on our mind to the other. We always have. I guess that comes from the fact that we grew up together. And he typically has the same philosophy on relationships as I do. "Window shopping is one thing, but that doesn't mean that you can buy the merchandise." Time will tell. I'm hopeful though, but I don't know what he's thinking at this point. I think he's afraid to start a relationship b/c it would be a long distance one b/c he's always on the road and never knows where he's going to be from one week to the next and when he might have a day or weekend off. That is one of his major barriers right now. But that's just me speculating. I on the other hand don't have a problem w/ long distance relationships. I think that if you can make it through the long distance stuff there's a better chance that the relationship will be a strong one. And it just makes the time that you do have together all the more sweet.

Before I close though, I would like to post a reminder that it's only 17 more days until my B-day. Don't forget to buy me a shot (or at least have one in my honor)!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

24 days, weekends, and procreation

ok...so we're down to 24 more days. I'm keepin' track ppl. I'm excited b/c there are so many things to come w/ it. The new piercings, sharing w/ friends, and several other possibilities are on the horizon. Who knows what's to come next, but I'm somewhat content w/ things at this point. It's been a while since I could say that but I think I am. However, I am enough of a realist to know that it could all change tomorrow but I will enjoy it while it lasts.

B. came up for the weekend w/ A. It was nice to have them around. Unfortunately, A. got sick while she was here and we never did figure out what caused it. It really worried me but she didn't let it get in her way of getting the attention she wanted. Go figure. I think that's any kid. If anything being sick earned her more attention than she knew what to do w/ or even wanted at moments. However, I do believe that B. still enjoyed herself. She got some pampering that she so well deserved. She finally got to see my house and I think she fell in love w/ it. We even have plans for using the attic for the house boys..lol. So if anyone know where we can get our hands on a couple....please send the info. 2 will do but 4 is preferred. They should know how to do a decent pedacure or at least be willing to learn, how to give a good message but also have the capability to be dominate when the time arises.

So we all know that I have plans for the weekend of my B-day and for the weekend before....I now also have plans for this coming weekend. One of my best friends that has been like a brother to me(I think I have already told you about him before), W., his B-day was yesterday. Since I wasn't able to go down for a visit the past weekend he asked me to come and help him celebrate his B-day this weekend. What choice did I have but to agree...I mean geez we have been friends since we were young and I used to force him to play Barbie w/ me. Oh...did I mention that his job has him stationed in St. Augustine and that is where I will have to go visit him....so naturally I agreed. We've been talking a lot lately and are curious about where things would lead so I think we are going to do some experimenting while I am there. Nothing major just going to see what will happen. It should be interesting. We basically both agreed that whatever happens...happens...that if nothing else we'll always be really good friends. We shall see. Most of you will probably know how it went well before I am able to post it so I don't tell you that you'll get a full report here...I really DOUBT that will happen but hey...... You'll be told if nothing else.

The next weekend is when I am going home for the weekend as well. Gotta go see my nephew for his B-day. He has sent me word that he's mad at me. Last time I was there I was supposed to help him rebuild his railroad track but things got hectic and I didn't have time so he went word to me that he was mad at me b/c I didn't help him rebuild so if nothing else....I have a railroad to setup. Can't have the babies being all mad at me and stuff. Come to think of it I gotta call my boys in Canada, the 20th was the oldest one's B-day as well as his mom's and I didn't even realize it had passed. Shame on me. Oh well, I know one phone call I will be making tonight. Amazing how many B-days there are this time of year. There must be a lot of procreation done between April and June b/c most of the ppl I know are born Jan., Feb., or March. I lost count of how many ppl I know w/ my B-day. I remember that I used to call in to the radio station on my B-day w/ all the names of ppl w/ my B-day and they always wanted to know if I was pulling their leg and what they put in the water in my area especially considering that I went to school and was in the same grade as most of them. I guess back home we're just so country we don't feel right if the animals get ahead of us. The song, "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so lets do it like they do in the discovery channel," would apply in my area.

So I guess the lesson of the day is....

Live life and enjoy it, have fun and every once in a while just let go and see what happens. After all, as L. says, "it's just another finger." But as always, don't forget the safe word.

Be well A/all!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Count Down Begins

AH...30 days until I'm the big 25! Ok, so for the first time since I was 7 I actually have birthday plans. My 7th B-day was the last time that I had an actual party that I knew about w/ a few of the special ppl in my life. Actually I have plans for the weekend of my b-day and the weekend before so it should be really fun. However, I will have to say that I had a surprise b-day party for my 17th b-day. That was loads of fun and funny as h*ll b/c I actually helped plan it b/c I thought it was for someone else....and it was...but it was also for my b-day and I didn't know it until they brought out the cake w/ my name on it as well. Talk about feeling like an idiot. Yea...that was me...lol. But this one I actually get to have the ppl around that I want and go to the bars and do what I want and all that stuff...loads of fun. That is something that I didn't even get to do for my 21st b-day. I think that is part of the reason the everyone sees it as a challenge to get my drunk, and we all know how much B. loves a little competition. Bring it on girlie. We shall see.

So this past weekend was very cool. I ended up doing a little of it all. I shopped w/ mom (always worth the trip), hung out w/ B. and reminisced about "the good 'ole days" and went to the bar and let her get her buzz on. Then we went to church on Sunday and out to lunch and then she went out w/ R. and I to dinner. That was cool. Then she and Mr. V. went back to her house and crashed and I went back to R.'s house for a few min. I even had to do some consoling while I was home this weekend. reassurance is apparently something I am good at although I hate doing it. Especially in the situations that I end up getting myself in. I may be a B*tch but when you put a few tears in on me I am just like any man and I hesitate and start to feel really sorry when I have just as good a reason to maintain being a total b*tch. Sometimes I wish I could do just that...but for some reason I continue to be an old softie. (sshhhhh don't tell anyone though).

So I am now back in Athens and am back at work. Life is back to normal once again, or at least as normal as it has ever been...which isn't very..but hey...I like it. I should be here until the weekend of Feb 7th when I go home for my nephew's b-day and then the two weekend following I will have company which will be here to help me celebrate my b-day. YEA!!!!! Will definitely let you guys know how those two weekends go. Especially the weekend of my b-day. Feb 17th is my b-day and B. will hopefully be here, then the 18th she and I go up to Royceston and get our nips pierced, then we go to ATL and go out w/ L. and party til we drop. Til then, will keep you posted on the boring and mundane.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

This weekend: love, jealousy, and Mr. Vanilla

*sigh* The weekend is quickly approaching and it promises to be a packed one. How is it that when we have a holiday or a long weekend when most ppl would be getting rest that I always end up being busier and getting less rest than I would had I actually just stayed home. Staying home would be so good right now. I've been plagued by insomnia for the last few nights and it's definitely taking its toll. However, I am looking forward to some of the things that I have to do when I go home I just really dread getting everything ready for it. I have to leave school on Friday and go home unhook my computer, load it in the car to take to R. for updates and a check-up and pick up my cooler, go to the deer processor and pick up the deer meat waiting there, then from there I will be heading home. Chances are this will put me leaving later than normal b/c once I hit T-town I have to go into town instead of cutting through the woods like normal which would cut off 20+ minutes. Saturday my mom has a whole day planned basically so that we can go see a friend and their new baby and then go shopping in Valdosta. When we get back I will go to B's house and hang for the night and I think we all know there will be very little sleep had there. I am sure that we will be staying up late and watching movies, catching up and all that and then we get up on Sunday morning and go to church. Hopefully we will be able to sit though it and stay awake. After church we go out and eat then I go back to T-town w/ B. and A. and then go back home and go visit w/ my nephews and such. At some point I also have to go visit w/ Papa and Granny. Hopefully Monday I will be able to sleep in so that I will not be dead driving home. lol. Like I said, most of it I am looking forward to...it's the exhaustion that will ensue that will SUCK. Oh well, I'll live...and if I don't we'll all know what I died from. lol. As Always through it'll just be really busy. But hey, it wouldn't be a trip home if it wasn't. Then again I am sure that once I have had some good sleep I won't be so GGUURRR about it tomorrow. You know how it is.

Here's an interesting tid bit that still amuses me. B. has forbidden Mr. Vanilla (her boyfriend) to come over the night that I am there. We basically want to catch up w/o the presence of a male and have some girl time. Having said this, Mr. Vanilla is jealous and feels threatened by me b/c he thinks that B. and I together would just be.....well....let's just say that he's afraid I'll persuade her that he's not good enough for her and that there are better things. Mr. Vanilla doesn't believe that I have enough respect for him not to do that. I have known Mr. Vanilla since Jr. HS. I used to do theatre w/ his mom and we were in the band together at one point. Now if he was someone that I didn't think was right for her....he'd have to worry b/c I would be trying to get her to look for love elsewhere. But although Mr. Vanilla is ...... well....exactly that I don't think that he and B. dating is a bad thing. I do wish he would offer her more than he has but hey....it's not my place to complain. If she can live w/ it who am I to bitch for her. She loves him and he likewise loves her and A. as well which is a HUGE deal. I couldn't break up something that beautiful. I think that B and I both have an understanding that we will accept the things that the other wants and support them in it in all ways. We may no always agree w/ it but we know that once the other had made up their mind there is no changing it. Everyone else can like it or lump it as far as we are concerned. So Mr. Vanilla, if you happen to stumble in and read this, believe me when I tell you that you have nothing to worry about. B. belongs to you even if you won't possess her as she wishes. She loves you and that is what counts and I would never try to take someone away from another that they truly love.

L., if you stumble in and read this I know you don't love S. Lie to yourself or whatever but hey, you admitted it at one point so you know it yourself but just don't want to face it. You know where I stand and my thoughts on it. You know where I am on that. It's that whole protector things I have w/ you. You did it to yourself...lol. Hey, you know my opinions before everything but I am actually voting on Bruiser now. Before I wouldn't have thought, but he's mellowed and you know you love him. I'd wait it out. Anyway, I guess that is my rant or eschewing of information for the day. So I guess my advice for the day would be:

Don't stick w/ someone you don't really love, b/c you never know what you might be passing by or giving up in the process. You could just be passing by Mr/Ms Right.

Take care and be well all! Until next time....

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Children Will Be Children

As we can all see B. is enciting a riot here...lol. B. thinks she knows me better than R. does and he thinks he knows me better than B. does and I just think they both bring out a different part of me that they know and the other doesn't get to see as much of.

B., well let's just say she has a tendency to bring out the wild side of me. The side that I often forget is there or that I ever had. That can sometimes be a little scary but I think she also brings out that driving force of realization that says, "You ain't gettin' any younger and you really don't think you'll do this sh*t when you're 80 do ya? You're young and single and now is the time to get it done."

R. tends to bring out some of the softer sides of me. R. has helped me over the years to come to a lot of realizations and helps keep me grounded. I think that is part of the reason that after everything that has happened we have remained friends. He's a good center for me. When things have been at their worst for me the last 7-8 years R. has been there to help ground me and pull me out of whatever hole I found myself in. When things went wrong and I found myself in a major depression he was the one that helped me get off my meds. When my nephew got ran over he was there to calm me and help me when I freaked out afterwards and through everything that has ensued since. Through all the flashbacks and so forth....all the sucky crap he has helped me get through.

Now over the years B. has been there and shoved me through a lot when she was here. I think we both missed a HUGE chunk of each others life in the last 5 years or so since HS. But just as B. has helped me over the years, R. has likewise pulled, coaxed, and encouraged me through so much as well. HUMMMM...seems I find myself in a predicament. Two ppl that are really important in my life don't see eye to eye and in all honesty neither of them cares much at all for the other. Separating friends really makes things hard. WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?! All I can say is that you are both going to have to build a bridge and get over it. Deal w/ it b/c I am not giving up one for the other. You're both my friends whether you like each other or not. It's not a competition, I love ya both. I know you were both very much joking around....but I also know enough of you both to know that there was a lot of seriousness in those jabs as well....So make nice and stop bickering.

BTW B. the piercer doesn't count. You said drunk and flashing..lol. I still don't even think I'll see drunk. Tipsy maybe...drunk...I doubt. We shall see but I am hoping that R. doesn't have to bow down to you b/c.....well...you know me.

So we have the weekend set. You both will get your perspective time..lol. *rolling eyes and shaking head* Sat. after I have time w/ my mom and have made a few needed rounds I will be at your house B. and we shall ensue w/ making your vanilla boyfriend very nervous. Sun. we go to church and out to eat w/ my rentals and then I will make sure you and A. get back home ok. Then I will go back home and make another needed round either to my adopted brother's house to see his new baby or go see my nephews and grab a few things (whichever doesn't get done on Sat.) and then I am off to dinner that night w/ R. See....we can do this and no one is hogging me. Besides, you will both be coming up to visit me soon on your chosen weekend. Just keep me posted on progress.

So as Amy Grant once sang, "Children behave....."

Love you both!

~L

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Parties-Church

AAAHHHHHH...the New Year. It's officially 2006...or at least it is when I can remme to put it on the checks. Otherwise I'm stuck in a time warp. So I hope everyone had a better New Year than I did. It SUCKED! I had to come back to Athens before the New Year so that I could miss all the major traffic and so I could actually get some rest before I had to go back to work that Monday. I had plans but I ended up spending New Years ALONE! My Redneck X was supposed to come up for a visit and have New Years w/ me but his boss fired him so he didn't have the money, R was supposed to come but his boss told him on Thrus. that he had to work Fri so he wasn't able to come up, so at that point I called B. B. was all excited and ready to back up her and A. and come right on up.....but Friday morn. her boss called her and asked her to work and since she needed the money she didn't have much of a choice. I swear the bosses conspired against me this year. Here I was with the highest of hopes and excitement b/c for once I would be w/ "adults" and would be able to get a New Years kiss and instead I got a date the tv, an amaretto stone sour, and the freakin' New Years Ball. Granted I was receiving calls from them all the entire day saying Happy New Year and they're thinkin' of me and all that...but dang.....I hate being alone.

However, I would like it to be known. B. has PROMISED to come up for my B-day (Feb. 17th for those of you w/ the lax memory) and she and I will go to L.'s and to ATL to the clubs where she says they will proceed to get me pa-snuckered. Or at least she says they are going to try. I have never been drunk before so every time I tell someone that they take it as a challenge. Whatever, you're always willing to try but you can't buy me any more drinks than I am willing to down......wait....well....I guess you can but it would be a total waste of money and if you're that stupid......well......I probably haven't or wouldn't invited you along. However, anyone who just happens to be at the bar that night....if you see us there and wanna buy a round I am sure that the girls will not argue. I think that we have decided to make it a girls night though.....so guys...look out...3 on the prowl. Look for the sober girl w/ the 2 lush ho's trying to hook me up w/ you..lol. I am sure that at some point we will end up at L.'s favorite place, Friday's. She should just buy stock in the place...I swear. Should be interesting to see.

As an update, those of you in T-town, I will be home the weekend before Jan. 16th. B. has claimed me for one night already so if you wanna catch me at some point you better put in your options now. Who knows what the parental units have in store for me. My mom always has a list of things she wants me to accomplish while I am home. B., I am thinking Sat. night for use b/c you and A. are going to church w/ me this time around...remme. HA!....You ain't gettin' out of it this time hoochie! I promise you won't get kicked out of my dad's church. They're Baptist not Presbyterian. Baptist tend to have more sympathy and a need to assist. Some of them may think they're better than you are but they at least think that they can raise you up to their standards w/ some good ole southern charm and sophistication and if they can't they'll just "bless your heart" you to death and put you one the prayer list. lol. You know it goes. Can I get an AMEN! hee hee.

*reads back* Holy Cow...I go from talkin' about partying and then to church....now there's a concept. Leave it to the PKs right? We always were the worst...or at least that's what everyone says. But do you know why that's typically the case? B/c we had to play w/ the deacon's kids growing up and to survive we had to learn to be as mean or meaner than they were just to get out alive. Come on ppl...concepts...it's not that hard to figure out. We all remme the deacon's kids.....You know I'm right.

*sigh* So for those of you I didn't get a chance to get a card out to you this Holiday....Merry/Happy Late Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. Until next time ladies and gentlemen, as Stone Sour puts it...
"....Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean, sh*t snort and blaspheme. Let the heads cool and the engines run, b/c in the end everything we do, is just everything we've done."