Bathroom Mini Makeover

This isn't my typical blog post.  But since I haven't posted in over a year and I felt like sitting down and writing I thought I'd share something a little different. Thus far 2014 has been thankfully calm and, within the usual chaos we call life, we have managed to do a few things here and there so that we may be able to enjoy our environment a little more.  We are big supporters of doing the little things so that the bigger things don't stack up.  This applies both to relationships and things around the house.  So when we find something around the house we would like to improve in some way we usually make an effort to make those changes together.  The only exceptions to this are the rooms that we consider our own.  For me it is my office/crafting space and for R. it is his loft/game room.  We help each other to achieve the desired look, hang items, and provide an alternate perspective or idea, but the set up is person specific. 

As many of you know, we moved house Aug. 1, 2013 and the next day football camp started.  Needless to say we still have things to do.  Slowly but surely we are getting things around the house unpacked, cleaned, and organized the way we want.  Now that football and wrestling seasons are over, and I have an entire month of being able to leave work after final bell and weekends free, I should be able to devote more time to getting things settled and organized in a manner that is suited for us both.  I know those who are local are ready for me to have a party or some sort of gathering, but we are not there yet but I'm hopeful for the summer.  Those of you who are distant have gotten glimpses through pictures posted on Facebook or Twitter through Instagram, and some of you have actually been by to visit.  For those of you who I don't know personally, I figure you are probably like me and just enjoy seeing what other people do with their spaces so that you can gather your own ideas.  So as we get spaces done and up to snuff I will try to post the pictures. 

One of the things we, or should I say I, have been wanting to do was frame around the mirror in the master bathroom.  Having the mirror bare just made it seem unfinished and stark.  It's a small thing but gives a nice finished look with a personal touch.  So of course, thanks to Pinterest, I found an idea I liked and thought easy to implement.  However, since we are renting the house, we were told we could not make any permanent changes to the house, that included framing the mirror (yes I called and asked specifically).  With this knowledge I began searching for ways to frame out the mirror that would be easy to remove if/when we move again.  Beyond just framing it though, I also wanted some shelving between the sinks to control the chaos while still keeping in mind the need to be not permanent. 

While helping R. hang things in the loft/gamer cave/geek haven, I discovered just what I was looking for.  Command Strips!  DUH!  Why didn't I think of this before.  They pop right off with a snap, leaving no sticky mess behind, meaning things are NOT PERMANENT!  Just what I needed!   Finally I knew how I was going to achieve that finished look I wanted.

So it was with this revelation we went to Lowe's and purchased everything we would need.  Excited and determined I had my plan.  We bought the white molding and corner squares and knowing there would be a gap between the molding and the wall next to the light switch, we also purchased a 1/2 inch 1/4 round strip.  Since the strips were already white, no painting was required.  Believe it or not, the most expensive part of the purchase was the Command Strips.  Everything totaled out to be around $30.  R. was kind enough to cut and hang them while I was at work as a surprise.  It was a wonderful thing to come home and discover.  This weekend we went to S. GA and happened to stop in Alco where I found a wonderful Closetmaid© mini storage cubical.  The shelf was $15 and the baskets were $8 for a pack of two.  It was exactly what I was looking for.  It fit perfectly between the sinks without making it feel like there was a wall between them. I think the finished look makes it a warmer, more inviting environment, well worth the cost.  R. likes that he can, and plans to, arrange the baskets into various Tetris shapes.  So it's a little something for the both of us.  

We both liked the over all effect enough to go back and spend another $5 for another strip of molding and using the leftovers from the master bath we were able to do the same to the guest bath. (Now if only I could do something about that wallpaper.) Plus, should we want to redo something or move, all we have to do it snap it off with no damage to the property.  So the total cost of framing both bathroom mirrors was about $35, adding in the shelf in the master bath grand total would be approximately $65.  Cost efficient, not permanent, is reusable, creates organization and beauty - I'd say all together well worth the cost.  Not to mention the organization and ease it created makes for more sanity and easy mornings for me -- that my friend, is priceless.   

Fallacy Of Limited Perspectives

Few things make my skin crawl like hearing someone say to my husband or students how amazing it is that they can be "so involved/independent/intelligent even through their disability."  Or even worse giving me credit for it as if I did the work, because I'm apparently so "amazing and they surely couldn't do it without me."  The fact that people are so narrow minded is maddening.

First off let me make clear that the students I interpret for excel because they are driven individuals who set goals, reach for the stars, and blow off small minded people who have low expectations for their potential.  They work hard, don't give up, and follow through.  For my students, I make sure they have the necessary tools and skills to use them, and just as any other student, their teachers/coaches make sure they have the needed knowledge.  And, just like anyone else, the students I interpret for put in the work necessary to achieve their goals.  I do my job, I advocate, I teach them to advocate, I give them the reins, I make sure they know how to use interpreters appropriately, and I attempt to connect them with multiple forms of community support.  I do my job.  I love my job, but know that if I wasn't there to do it someone else would be.

Secondly, how is it so hard to believe that someone can adapt to their surroundings.  Species have have been doing it since the dawn of time.  So they are deaf or visually impaired - why should that diminish their ability to learn to adapt?  As far as R. is concerned I helped him find needed resources, made sure he is well aware of his rights, and do my share of advocacy.  But again, his ability to achieve is all on him.  He is the one who will complete his degree in Computer Networking in a few months from Western Governors University. He's the one that has passed the multiple computer certification tests.  He's the one that has taken over the kitchen and adapted it to his unique preferences. The fact that you think these things an impossibility for someone with a significant visual impairment shows only your ignorance.  However, ignorance we're willing to work with, it's when ignorant people refuse to come out of their box and be educated, or when the educated continue to create perceived limitations that we have problems.  At that point you are the limited, as well as limiting, one - not others. 

I guess the point I'm getting to is this:

Encouragement and praise as you would offer any "normal" person is always welcome.  Your amusement caused by your inability to see outside your box is information you're welcome to keep to yourself.  I also don't need to hear your insistence that they couldn't have done it without me.  That is a fallacy that not only shows your limited perspective but also tells me much of your views of the human spirit.  Frankly, I have enough of my own issues to work through without adding your jaded humanitarian expectations to the pile. 

I Am My Father's Daughter...

Truer words have ne'r been spoken.  If anyone in my family is straight-forward, honest, and at times bluntly so - it's me.  Yet there are those who still doubt me when I say, "it's not about you."

Again, if this applies to you - check yourself.  There seems to be many of you of late, so you are not alone.

Anyone who knows me - not knows of me, knows my name, or thinks they know me - truly knows me can verify that if you think it's about you then you're probably wrong.  I'm not a person who leaves issues to doubt.  I will let you KNOW when it's about you.

Those of you who feel the guilty or angry need to respond, reply, retort, ect. - DON'T.  I'm not leaving this open for discussion.  Why? Because this is about ME and my ability to vent and let go.  This is for my sanity and my own ability to move on.  At this point your issues with whatever problems you have with me are of no concern.  You have sealed your fate as far as I'm concerned and this is simply my way of once again assuring you that if or when I do have issue/problems with you I will come to you and handle it responsibly, appropriately, and probably with more respect than you've ever shown me.  I may occasionally vent in vagueness or pick at others and you perceive that it's about you - but if it were I can promise that you'd KNOW and the likelihood that I would call you out and discuss the topic in a public forum is slim to not happening.  Chances are I have already personally addressed it with you or have plans to do so at an appropriate time and place.  I am not one to hold things in for extended periods.  I did that once and it proved unhealthy.  You're not worth my health and sanity.  I reserve that for the people who actually give a damn.

Hopes and Prayers

Our hopes and prayer for the coming year is of continued safe travel, finding the perfect place to move, good fortune, eliminating more debt, and being fruitful.  Most of these are things we were blessed with last year and we are hoping those blessings will continue.

The new blessings we hope for are fertility/fruitful, and perfect place.  I think you all know of our difficulties with conception, but despite it all our household continues to grow.  Last time we gained Austin.  This year we are blessed to have R.'s brother, N. moving in with us.  This is why we pray for the perfect house.  I believe in planning for a harvest you intend to reap.  I have no doubt that we will eventually have a child to fill that space but we also enjoy hosting those that currently fill our hearts.  Many of you have enjoyed the comforts of our spare bedroom.  We also have the plethora of others who use it as a safe haven or crash pad.  We're also blessed to have a few who have basically adopted us as additional parents.  (We apparently have one in college already.  Go MARS HILL!!!)  So in order to be able to continue to provide comfort for those who seek it at our door, and prepare for children, we are seeking a 3/2 or more house in our perfect local - which is no easy feat.  But God has always put us exactly where we needed to be and I'm sure He will continue to do so.  Keep us in your prayers.


Update: We have found a house.  Great neighborhood, kid friendly, close to a park, dog park, and shopping.  We move in Aug. 1.  

The Cruelty Of Others

The cruelty of others never ceases to amaze me.  But I'd be a liar if I said that the audacity of the informed doesn't appall me.  There is a reason I keep certain people abreast of happenings in our lives - mainly so they can't unknowingly be a putz.  However, seeing as they are informed if/when they are a putz I can rightfully call them an ass.  It doesn't mean I do or will, but the option is there.

People don't realize how often I really do hold my tongue and just let things go.  But there are times that either I get pushed too far or the more I think about it the more the situation will bother me to a point I can't just let it slide.  Yet, even those who claim to know me so well are often the ones most stunned when I call them out.

A while back I had a person allude to the possible reason we haven't had children yet:

I posted - 

"Why are the women who make the worst mothers always the ones that are the most fertile"

To receive a response that basically said, "They're also usually the ones staying home and not working."

So apparently we haven't had children yet b/c I work too much. I guess I'm not home enough to take care of my husband so God wouldn't dare give me a child on top of it.  Yet this same person ridicules another for accepting government assistance so she can stay home with their child.  Psh.

[Obviously we are still trying.  We figure we'll give it a few more months and see how it goes.  If there's no success by the end of wrestling season then we'll make time to go to the doctor.  There are a few things we want to take care of first anyway.  If at that point we're still not pregnant we'll start testing me I guess.]

I realize that the last 4 years I have changed a great deal.  I have gained an abundance of patience, comparatively, and tend to handle things pretty well.  There are other things however that I realize I have lost sympathy and patience for.  I have little patience for true stupidity, even less for ignorance, and absolutely none for people who are inconsiderate and asinine   Add injury to insult when those people are actually family.

However the asshattery is not limited to family.  There are those at work and in the community that I have called out of late for referring to or talking to people as if they are lesser just because they happen to have what one would consider an impairment.  Just because someone is blind or deaf doesn't mean they are an idiot.  Likewise, just because I'm their guide or interpreter doesn't mean I'm their messenger.  You did something you want to apologize for - YOU go tell them you're sorry.  I'll be happy to guide you to them or interpret the conversation.  But I am not a relay service.

The problem is that these idiots, bullies, and ignorant people are not children as one would suspect - but generally educated adults that should know better.  I've often found myself in the role of advocate growing up.  Little did I know that it would become such a huge part of my life.  Now it seems I am constantly advocating for my students, my husband, my friends, and myself.  I'm fortunate enough to know I'm not fighting alone and I have a great support system within both friends and family.  I think the hardest part, for both R. and me, has been the weeding out process and realizing that we do have family that we've learned not to trust, rely, or invest in.

Now there are those who will read this and understand exactly what I mean, those who will sympathize and support, those who fail to see it for what it really is, those who will wonder who I'm talking about, those who will think its them, and those who know its them. But, no matter which of these you are, know that there is a reason I keep things vague and I don't use names.  If for some reason my post strikes a cord with you - check yourself because I'm sure there's a reason for it.  I write about the things that bother me so I can begin to let them go and forgive.  But don't be fool enough to mistake my forgiveness for gained trust and weakness.  Trust is something that when lost is harder than riches to attain.

Quick Vent

Written a while back and never published - I figure it's been waiting long enough:


OK CLASS - LET's REVIEW

Know the difference in stalking and being a public idiot
FB Drama

Don't bring your drama to my world unless you're willing to take my response w/o getting uppity

Common sense is not so common

Great year with exception but such is life. 

Work - loving it!  my constant.

Home is chaos but managable but family brings drama.....save your drama for your llama. 

Complaints about blessings.  Don't bitch to me about being preggo - sympathy is in the dictionary on that one.

Be thankful people - DANG! 

Crazy stalker eXs - I get...but at least I had a little common sense about it.  MAKE YOUR SHHHTUFF PRIVATE AND BLOCK THEM PEOPLE! IT'S NOT THAT HARD.  HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS AND DON'T GET ANGRY WHEN FOLKS THINK YOUR CRAZY!!!

Life's Hiccups and Giving It To God

Actively trying - a polite way of saying a couple is frequently participating in the act of coitus in an attempt to procreate.  Or in layman's terms, having sex for the purpose of becoming pregnant.  For most it's a natural and all too simple process, but for some it's frustratingly difficult.  Like most things in our world of complexities, nothing is quite as simple for us as it seems for the majority.  It instead becomes a test of patience, strength, and faith.

Now Lord knows, Papa told me years ago to never pray for patience, but apparently God feels I need a little more.  I have faith enough to know that I will eventually have children, but I also have sense enough to realize it will be in God's time and method and no my own.  Although, I will admit that just because I realize I can't control it, doesn't mean I like it.

There are so many factors for us to consider now.  Granted, I think we will be just fine, but that doesn't mean I think it will be easy.  I figure, like everything else, it will be steeped in trials and frustrations beyond that of typical parents, but such is our life.  We're ready for those challenges - or at least as ready as we'll ever be.

Between work, all that it entails, in addition to the challenges and acclimation that will inevitably take place, we'd like to have it towards the end of the school year.  That way my maternity leave will run into the summer and I can slowly work back up to my usual 12 hour work days by picking up summer work.  This would also allow R. to gradually become accustom to the challenges of dealing with a child when you have limited vision and head splitting migraines.  In order to achieve this however, we'd have to successfully fertilize this month.  Am I hopeful?  Yes.  Do I expect it?  No.  I'm optimistically pessimistic.  I'll be elated if it happens but since God rarely ever keeps the same time clock as I do, I'm not holding my breath for it.  I know His time is perfect and purposeful; so I wait as patiently as I know how - which is why I write.

Writing has always been my way of coping and dealing with life's idiosyncrasies.  When life is good - I enjoy.  When I face another of life's hiccups - I write.  Writing allows me to get it out and move on.  It's my way of venting, letting go of it, and giving it to God.  Which is why my posts aren't necessarily inspirational and moving.  Don't think I don't give thanks for the good times.  I realize how blessed we truly are and share that testimony often.  I just don't always take the time to write it down.  I should, but it just doesn't always happen.  I'm typically using the time to spend with R. or simply enjoying the rare moments of peace.  So until the next hiccup - be well, be blessed, and be in prayer with/for us.  _\m/