A good laugh

Thought we all might could enjoy a good laugh. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times??? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!



Now, didn't that feel good? Share this with someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak

Life takes time.......... so, enjoy all the time and as much as you can........

IT'S ARRIVED!!!

I got my dress in yesterday. Talk about a quick delivery. I tried it on and wouldn't ya know......I look soooo gorgeous in it. I am excited. I am going to have to curl my hair for this one. It fit like a dream and is way skinny-fyin' too which is even better. YEA ME! I could stand for it to be cut a little lower in the front but hey....wouldn't want to show out the bride..lol. So now I just have to get w/ i and make my mask. i has some masks we are going to decorate to match the costuming that you wear. I won't be able to wear the mast while I am working during the wedding but I will be able to during the party afterwards. HEE HEE HEE. I am so excited. Not to mention that I am getting so many new ideas for when I get married. Whoever I end up w/ better be prepared b/c I probably will not have an expensive wedding but it will be unique. That is a guarantee.

So it's Friday, the week is finally over. I am at the library typing up this post before I head home. Yesterday was just the day of delivery, my modem for my computer was delivered yesterday as well. Unfortunately I will not be able to use it until next Thursday b/c that is the soonest that the man can come to my house and basically put a pin in the phone box so that I will have service. Why they don't just mail that w/ instructions like everything else I don't know. But I'll be dog, I have everything set up and waiting for when he does come stick that pin in. It's been over a year since I have had internet in my house. Can we say I have been more than just a little deprived. Not net, no cable, & only about 3 channels to watch (6 on a good day depending on how the wind blows). Now the possibilities are endless..hee hee hee. Who knows the trouble I might be able to get into. Should prove interesting to say the least.

R. will be coming up tonight. Who knows what all we will do. We never really plan to do much of anything but it always seems that plans get made anyway. L.'s new sweetie is coming to the UGA game this weekend. I don't have tickets to this one but I told her that R. would be here and she said she might tag along w/ her sweetie and we could all meet up at a bar or something and watch the game together. You never know what might happen when you get those two together. Too bad S. isn't coming w/ him. He has this fetish w/ L. and always enjoys spending time in her company. I guess that means that R. and I will just have to take lots of pics to share w/ him and make him unbelievably jealous. We tried to tell ya S. But you have to play nice first before I'll let you reap any benefits. Then on Sunday i said that she may come and hang out for a while. We didn't get to go to the gym really this week so I haven't seen her. I can't wait to show her my dress.

Anyway, I guess I better jet now. The computer is starting to get confuse b/c I am typing too fast and it isn't able to keep up w/ me. (Welcome to small town GA) So I will post again later. I am trying to be a little better about posting. So until I post again, be sure to keep your fingers out of the garbage disposal.

Weekend

OK, before I start let me do some house keeping. When I type something out and at some point state that the words I type are not being said in anger, malice, or anything that would at all be negative, I mean it. I didn't mean it in a bad way. However, some people still read it as such and then try to come to me mad and all up in arms about it. I am sorry if you have misread something I wrote as being negative, pissy, bitchy, or as directed at you. Believe me when I tell you that if I have a problem w/ you or something you have done, I will tell you about it. Usually if it's posted here it's something I have already talked to you about and just want to vent. However, the last blog had nothing said in it that was in anyway meant to be directed at anyone as a derogatory remark. The last blog was written as a way for me to just sit down and put down the things that were in my mind. This is after all my world. I never said that what goes on in my head makes sense. I just hate it when every time I type something on here someone comes back all pissed off. If you can't read what I type and know that it's just something that's in my head and that I don't have a problem, concern, or an issue w/ you, or that what I have typed is not necessarily directed at you or something that is negative or directed towards you, then DON'T READ MY BLOG! I know that I tend to let myself get over stressed and over worked quite frequently. I also know that when I am over stressed and over worked, if you don't know me, everything that come from me can be misunderstood and construed as being bitchy. But, if you know me, you know that is not the case. But if you feel that it was the case then I tend to think that either you read it on a day that you were in a bad mood yourself or you feel guilty about what you read in some way b/c you feel that it somehow applies to you. If the latter is the case then it's something you are going to have to make amends w/ yourself. So again, I am sorry if at any point any of you have read something and thought that I was being bitchy or jeering things at you from here. But again I say, believe me when I tell you that unless you refuse to talk to me I would come to you about any problem before it would see the light of day on here.

That being said, let me move on to brighter things....

This past weekend was much more than I really expected. It was a good weekend though. Friday night I went to a concert. The girl that I mentor, SM, offered up a couple of tickets to a concert that was going on at the Ga. Theatre. It was really good. A band called Rusted Root played. They really were amazing. She had won 2 sets of tickets on the radio and offered i and me the other two tickets. We took her up on it. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The band combined so many different styles of music and so many different instruments that I was truly drawn into the show just trying to anticipate what would come next. I had a blast. I didn't get home until after 2am.

Many of you also know that I've never been one to really care for football. I have always said that the best part of a football game is the halftime show w/ the bands. I also ended up going to a UGA game Saturday. L dragged me to the game b/c she wanted to go but didn't want to sit alone. SM had a couple of tickets that she wasn't going to be able to use so L and I bought them and went to the game. It was my first UGA game and I will have to admit that I wouldn't mind going to another one. Traffic SUCKED but other than that......OMG. I think that L has converted me. All I can say is... GOOOOOOOO DAWGS, SIC'EM WOOF WOOF WOOF!

After the game I went and hung out for a while w/ SM and chatted and went to hang w/ some of her friends and grill out and......you'll never guess it.....watch the Fla vs TN game. Gotta know what we're facin' . After that game we watched the Army vs MN( I think it was MN). Either way it was a really close and good game. Army lost at the last min b/c they tried to run it from the 2 yard line. DUH PPL! Throw the frickin' ball. But then again that's something UGA is gonna have to improve upon as well. After the games we watched some Dane Cook, who is always good for a laugh and then headed home. Again I got home around 2am.

After all this I was still able to get up and go to church on Sunday. Don't ask me how I did it. Sunday I basically stayed home and relaxed. It was nice. So all-in-all I'd say I had a good weekend. It's been a while since I have had a weekend that.....exciting I guess you'd say. However, I 'll have to admit I don't think I could do that every weekend. But then again....maybe I could. Definitely something I wouldn't mind trying I suppose.

So the week has started off ok thus far. Monday was just typical. I met SM for our weekly mentoring. She had a rough day. Keep her in your prayers, her aunt died and it's always hard to look a family member. We had a good session though. She learned some things but she's still nervous about going to the immersion weekend. I think she'll be ready for it. I'm excited that she'll be going and wish I could but you can't be of the advanced level and participate. I know the person who is in charge,PF, and she was the one that told me I am too advanced. That made me feel good to hear her say that but I hated it b/c it meant that I wouldn't be able to participate w/ SM. PF did tell me though that if this one was a success that there would be one for advanced students. I can only hope.

Today was nothing major. It wasn't really a busy day or anything. When I leave school I will be heading over to the gym to swim my 1/2 mile. I ordered a dress for a wedding that I am going to in Oct. and I need to be able to fit into it when it gets here. Keep your fingers crossed for me. It's a renaissance masquerade wedding so it should be fun. I am looking forward to it. Now I just have to go home and dig out my old mask or talk to SM about borrowing her's. It's really nice. The mask that she has is white w/ black and red feathers so it should go well w/ my dress. It's an all black dress so I will need a little color.

This is the link to the dress I ordered:
http://www.museumreplicas.com/webstore/eCat/women_s_clothing/fantasy/clothing/baroness_dress.aspx
So now you know. So if you are going to the wedding you know which one I will be wearing so DON'T ORDER THE SAME DRESS!!! I always did like being the unique one. Now no one has an excuse as to why I can't be..lol. Yea, ok, I know it's wishful thinking but it's my world ok. I like the blissfulness of occasional ignorance. Reality is there for me to face when I wanna.

Update

Ok, so we all know that consistency has never really been my forte. I never claimed it was. But I am here once again to spill out what I can and see what I can come up w/ out of what I have. Typically it ain't much but hey, I deal w/ what I got.

This weekend nothing is really going on. Hopefully I can drag my friend, i, into some trouble. I am sure that we can go hiking at the river or something. There is a game in town this weekend so I am sure that it will be slammed in town and almost not worth the trouble of even setting foot out the door in that general direction. Who knows. Basically, it's just me at home. Might be nice for a change.

Next weekend B was supposed to come but plans change, as usual. A. has a Dr. appointment in Atl and she was going to stay w/ me so that she wouldn't have to get up early to get there and wouldn't have to drive back same say and what not. But understandably B's mom wants to go, so she won't be coming. Disappointing but understandable. However, she knows that her mom is welcome to come and stay at the house as well, and I have told her that many times, but I guess they would rather do it their own way. NP, I tend to do the same. Last time I was home I had my oil changed and other matainence done on my car. In the process they were supposed to put new wipers on my car as well but they forgot. B. was going to bring those to me when she came but since she isn't coming I had to find someone else who was coming up this way.

Who else would there be to come to my rescue, as always, R. He's going to bring them to me so that I can see worth diddley in the rain. It's actually been raining a good bit up here so that might come in handy. This will be the second time he has had to do that. The first time was when my grandmother died. But R. has to come up next weekend for an interview anyway so I guess it all worked out. He wasn't going to stay w/ me if B. was coming b/c they don't exactly get along but since she won't be able to come he's comin' up and we'll hang out some. He and I have some things to talk through anyway. I think that he's finally facing some harsh realities that he had been denying, which is good but I know it's really hard for him. He is still an awesome friend to have. He reads me better than anyone I have ever known and usually knows my moods before I ever realize them. I do realize that our relationship my not me as healthy as it should be b/c of the obvious circumstances but we are still the best of friends. Some people have issues w/ the fact that we are still such close friends but that's their beef, not mine. If anyone has a reason to hold a grudge against him it's me, but why damn myself that way. I understand that my friends don't care for him b/c of what he did to me, and B. isn't the only one, but it doesn't mean it's not wrong. Oh well, who am I to change their minds. But that's just me venting from over stress and working too much so if you are reading this and get pissy b/c of something I said, don't take it to heart. This blog is for me to get it off my chest, at least for a while. If you happen on it and feel guilty for something I have said, it's apparently something you need to look at and figure out why you feel guilty. Don't come bitching to me able it.

I talked to R.'s old roommate S. the other day. It's been a while since we have talked b/c I felt a little betrayed. I can't say that we're all buddy buddy again, but at least we're on speaking terms. To be honest w/ ya I've missed talking to him and bitching about things w/ him. Our monthly bitch sessions always were the greatest.

Things are SOOOOOO much better at school this year, well at least staff wise anyway. Student wise we have some bumpy areas to work out but nothing major. Hopefully, we will have a workshop soon on interpreter use. Once we have had that I think that some of the other hearing staff might get it a little better. I look forward to that. It never ceases to amaze me how little the hearing world knows and understands about Deafness. Usually, it's just common sense stuff. As I've said before, common sense is not so common.

Anyway, I don't know what else there is to tell. Everything has just been the same old boring mundane stuff I guess. Which I am not complaining about! So until next time, just be patient and I'll keep you posted when there's something to tell.