Fallacy Of Limited Perspectives

Few things make my skin crawl like hearing someone say to my husband or students how amazing it is that they can be "so involved/independent/intelligent even through their disability."  Or even worse giving me credit for it as if I did the work, because I'm apparently so "amazing and they surely couldn't do it without me."  The fact that people are so narrow minded is maddening.

First off let me make clear that the students I interpret for excel because they are driven individuals who set goals, reach for the stars, and blow off small minded people who have low expectations for their potential.  They work hard, don't give up, and follow through.  For my students, I make sure they have the necessary tools and skills to use them, and just as any other student, their teachers/coaches make sure they have the needed knowledge.  And, just like anyone else, the students I interpret for put in the work necessary to achieve their goals.  I do my job, I advocate, I teach them to advocate, I give them the reins, I make sure they know how to use interpreters appropriately, and I attempt to connect them with multiple forms of community support.  I do my job.  I love my job, but know that if I wasn't there to do it someone else would be.

Secondly, how is it so hard to believe that someone can adapt to their surroundings.  Species have have been doing it since the dawn of time.  So they are deaf or visually impaired - why should that diminish their ability to learn to adapt?  As far as R. is concerned I helped him find needed resources, made sure he is well aware of his rights, and do my share of advocacy.  But again, his ability to achieve is all on him.  He is the one who will complete his degree in Computer Networking in a few months from Western Governors University. He's the one that has passed the multiple computer certification tests.  He's the one that has taken over the kitchen and adapted it to his unique preferences. The fact that you think these things an impossibility for someone with a significant visual impairment shows only your ignorance.  However, ignorance we're willing to work with, it's when ignorant people refuse to come out of their box and be educated, or when the educated continue to create perceived limitations that we have problems.  At that point you are the limited, as well as limiting, one - not others. 

I guess the point I'm getting to is this:

Encouragement and praise as you would offer any "normal" person is always welcome.  Your amusement caused by your inability to see outside your box is information you're welcome to keep to yourself.  I also don't need to hear your insistence that they couldn't have done it without me.  That is a fallacy that not only shows your limited perspective but also tells me much of your views of the human spirit.  Frankly, I have enough of my own issues to work through without adding your jaded humanitarian expectations to the pile. 

I Am My Father's Daughter...

Truer words have ne'r been spoken.  If anyone in my family is straight-forward, honest, and at times bluntly so - it's me.  Yet there are those who still doubt me when I say, "it's not about you."

Again, if this applies to you - check yourself.  There seems to be many of you of late, so you are not alone.

Anyone who knows me - not knows of me, knows my name, or thinks they know me - truly knows me can verify that if you think it's about you then you're probably wrong.  I'm not a person who leaves issues to doubt.  I will let you KNOW when it's about you.

Those of you who feel the guilty or angry need to respond, reply, retort, ect. - DON'T.  I'm not leaving this open for discussion.  Why? Because this is about ME and my ability to vent and let go.  This is for my sanity and my own ability to move on.  At this point your issues with whatever problems you have with me are of no concern.  You have sealed your fate as far as I'm concerned and this is simply my way of once again assuring you that if or when I do have issue/problems with you I will come to you and handle it responsibly, appropriately, and probably with more respect than you've ever shown me.  I may occasionally vent in vagueness or pick at others and you perceive that it's about you - but if it were I can promise that you'd KNOW and the likelihood that I would call you out and discuss the topic in a public forum is slim to not happening.  Chances are I have already personally addressed it with you or have plans to do so at an appropriate time and place.  I am not one to hold things in for extended periods.  I did that once and it proved unhealthy.  You're not worth my health and sanity.  I reserve that for the people who actually give a damn.

Hopes and Prayers

Our hopes and prayer for the coming year is of continued safe travel, finding the perfect place to move, good fortune, eliminating more debt, and being fruitful.  Most of these are things we were blessed with last year and we are hoping those blessings will continue.

The new blessings we hope for are fertility/fruitful, and perfect place.  I think you all know of our difficulties with conception, but despite it all our household continues to grow.  Last time we gained Austin.  This year we are blessed to have R.'s brother, N. moving in with us.  This is why we pray for the perfect house.  I believe in planning for a harvest you intend to reap.  I have no doubt that we will eventually have a child to fill that space but we also enjoy hosting those that currently fill our hearts.  Many of you have enjoyed the comforts of our spare bedroom.  We also have the plethora of others who use it as a safe haven or crash pad.  We're also blessed to have a few who have basically adopted us as additional parents.  (We apparently have one in college already.  Go MARS HILL!!!)  So in order to be able to continue to provide comfort for those who seek it at our door, and prepare for children, we are seeking a 3/2 or more house in our perfect local - which is no easy feat.  But God has always put us exactly where we needed to be and I'm sure He will continue to do so.  Keep us in your prayers.


Update: We have found a house.  Great neighborhood, kid friendly, close to a park, dog park, and shopping.  We move in Aug. 1.