I knew from an early age I wanted to adopt and foster. My mom thought it was strange at first, but like most things with me, she accepted that I just didn’t see the world like most of the people who surrounded me. As my brothers so un-tactfully put it, I was “different” and “weird.” As we’ve all gotten older, not much has changed in that respect. They still think I am weird and different, and there are parts of my life they honestly don’t quite understand, but that’s ok. Occasionally, when they aren’t paying attention, they learn a something from little sister, not that they’d ever admit to it. 
I feel like our little family is proof that a family isn’t always given, provided, or made, but sometimes built, created, and adopted. The majority of our immediate family has come to know our children, while there are still those who don’t even know their names. Fortunately, we have extended family and friends who have come to know and love them as only a family can. I have always had a strong belief in the importance of family, but I also know that sometimes you have to find/create your family. We have blood relatives that we know we can always count on, and those we know better than to ask. But we also have a large family of people in our lives that we have adopted along the way and know we can always rely on. I have always heard that blood is thicker than water, but blessed water will wash away a multitude of sins. We have truly been blessed with some people in our lives that have become family over the years. Some of them have adopted us, others we have adopted, and those people have not only been a blessing to R and me, but also to our children.
It’s hard to believe it’s been 4.5 months since E came into our lives. Shoot, it’s hard to believe that C has been with us for 4 years now. Yet, both feel like they’ve been here a lifetime. Our menagerie continues to grow and change in accordance with God’s plan. It’s not traditional by any means, but since when have I followed what most would consider tradition. God has always had me on a different path. I don’t always understand it, I don’t always like it, and He and I have regular conversations about it; it’s been filled w/ more hills, bumps, mountains, hurdles, briars, jams, valleys, and challenges than I care to recall. But Mama always sang, “Lord, don’t move that mountain, just give me the strength to climb,” and each time I find my way to the top, or rather at the end of a difficult challenge, I am able to “survey all the beauty that comes to me from above, I can count all the blessings from the storehouse of love,” and realize just how much God’s hand really has been guiding me through it. It’s often not until we get out of a “valley” that we are able to see that the path leads to the end goal, even when we doubted, questioned, became frustrated, and asked God why. Don’t get me wrong, there are things in my life I am still waiting to understand their purpose, and I may never understand. It’s not always for me to understand; sometimes I just have to accept. I just try to do as I feel lead/called. TRY being the operative word. My Little Audrey shows at times and I try to get things to bend to my will, and then God reminds me it is not my will that is to be done.
He always has a plan/purpose for the chaos and trials. As they say, today’s trials are tomorrow’s testimony. There’s a lot that I know I will never understand, but it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been a blessing. I cannot understand how a mother could cast out her child, but had she not done so I would not have known the wonder and artistry of C. I cannot understand what a mother had to be going through to be driven to leave her newborn at a hospital in hopes he would be able to find a better family, but had that had not been her situation I would not know the joy and laughter of E. While I will never understand what had to happen for these two women to relinquish their rights to these two amazing boys, I am grateful to them, for without them a very valuable part of our life would be missing. C & E were meant to be ours, we may not understand it, I may not like the experiences they had to endure in order to get to us, but they are where God ordained them to be.
C is weathering the storm that is college. He’s in his Junior year, seeing peeps of the light at the end of the tunnel and hoping it’s not a train. Once he graduates, if he is willing, we plan on adopting him. Adopting C before he graduates would cost him a large part of his financial aid, and we all know how valuable that is and how quickly it adds up. He has put in the work and maintained those grades to keep them so far, I’m not about to take that from him. We’re so proud of him. 
E has another court date coming up at the end of the month. He’s officially been moved from the foster to adoptive status, so our next date is pre-trial. At that point, they will likely start the process for termination of parental rights. Once that is done, we have to be prepared with lawyers to start the adoption process. The mountain of paperwork, boxes of band-aids, and a plethora of paper cuts will all be worth it to give E an actual name. I want E to have a knowledge and understanding of his story, of how amazing it is, and what a blessing he is, but I also want him to know that he’s always had an identity. Recently a family member unknowingly referred to him by his “government name” and I realized just how much it means to me to be able to give him a name.
We haven’t given up on getting pregnant. We just want E to at least be out of diapers before we jump on that boat. So we’ve pumped the breaks a little, but not abandoned it. We actually started looking at the possibility of a larger vehicle. Our little 4 seater Element is quite full with A, C, E, R and me. A gets quite crowded on the floor. A isn’t as jealous as he was of E and will actually sit next to him from time to time. E is finally old enough to realize A is around and be fascinated by him. Neither of them is willing to make contact with the other yet, but you can see the thought is there for them both on occasion. For now, A is happy with his spoilage from C but I figure once E is old enough to play a little, A will start demanding some of E’s attention too.
So for our family, both biological and adopted, we hope that you will be a light in the lives of our children. It takes a village, and we are honored to have you as a part of ours. For our friends who support us from afar, we appreciate your encouragement and kind words. They are often needed, always appreciated, and, most of the time, come at the exact right/needed moments. We know you’d be here when and if you could. Just be sure to stay in touch. Life has a way of coming back around and you never know when one of us might need that long-distance reach. But all of you, please keep us in your prayers. It has been an arduous journey and we’re not nearly through. There have been many hurdles and plenty more in view, but it’s the ones we don’t know about that concern us most. Pray for our family as well. Not all of our biological family has embraced our children, which has been heartbreaking. They haven’t even asked for or seen pictures since our boys first came into our lives, yet wonder why we haven’t traveled the distance of 2 states to come to visit. But this is another of those things that I will never, and hope to never, understand. Every parent does things a little differently, but as previously stated, there are just some parents I will never understand. 
