Processing My Grief and Giving Thanks:

Today I found myself regularly returning to my computer screen to check my FB.  Addict you say?  Obsessed with FB you ask?  Bored with nothing else to do you assume?  All would be incorrect.  I found my mind constantly in prayer and thinking about the Shively family.  I kept returning hoping to catch the next update come across the screen.  Tears sprang to my eyes with empathy and understanding that can only be felt by someone who who has experienced sitting in the hospital not knowing what's wrong w/ your significant other and knowing that if they don't figure it out soon you might be returning home alone.  Today I was reminded of just how fortunate I was.  Sadly, my cousin Amanda wasn't as fortunate.  Today, she is forced to leave the bedside she has vigilantly sat beside and made to return home to explain things to her 2 young children and a huge void.  Her only hope is that Albie's organs are fit for donation.  Indeed a show of strength, bravery, and worthy of so much respect (as if those who know her didn't already know that).

So today, once again, I say thank you.  Thank you to a nurse cousin willing to do a little research and share the possibilities.  Thank you to an ER doctor willing to listen and take a harmless but life saving chance that it could be something so small as vitamins that could be easily replenished but would take days to late to get the lab results to prove it.  Thank you to nurses willing to listen and accept no when offering meds prescribed by an idiot doctor that had they been taken could have possibly put us right back in the same position for which we started.  Thank you to family and friends that supported us from day one.  Thank you to family and friends that continue to support us, offering help, assistance, a ride, an ear, or just simply a visit on occasion.  Thank you to family and friends who laugh with us about it all, even when those around us don't think it the least bit funny. 

Before finding out the extent of the problems Albie was having, I shot Amanda an email.  I cried writing it, I cry reading it, and I had no idea when I wrote it what would be coming.  It just reaffirms that God uses us sometimes, even when we don't realize it. 

  "...I know you're going crazy right now and getting sick of hearing everyone saying the same 'ole words but at the same time grateful you have the support of those around you. Just know that it doesn't matter how comforting the words or the people that it's ok to shed the tears and cry out to God. It's even ok to ask why. (as I'm sure you have many times already) But know that we all feel that way at some point and it's my opinion that God understands that too, so don't feel too guilty about it. Just keep the hope and faith that whatever God's will, is the same as our hope. But keep the faith that no matter what His will may be, He will carry you through to great blessings. I know it doesn't seem like it now and you may even roll your eyes a little at my words. But Robby and I are a living testament of that. It's a trial that I wouldn't wish on anyone but one that we have learned much from. I'm sincerely sorry that someone else in my family has to experience a similar trial and wish you only the same abundance of blessings to come. So it is with tear filled eyes that I write you with understanding, empathy, love, and above all else prayers. Know that we are here if you need us. Don't hesitate to call. We love you all."

Writing this I had no idea that Albie would be called home.  At the time I had hope, as we all had, that he would again pull through and live to ride the four-wheelers once more with his precious boys.  I had no clue that my words would ring so true and had hoped that it would only be applied to surviving the sterile walls of yet another hospital.  Unfortunately, my assumptions were very wrong.   

I am truthful when saying that through all the trials and losses, Robby and I have been greatly blessed.  God has shown his light in our lives and provided us the comfort of security that can only be found in Him.  So it is my sincere prayer that Amanda and her family find the peace, abundance of blessings, and faith in Christ through all of this so that they may once again know, feel, and experience joy in their lives on a daily basis. Thank you to those that have prayed, are praying, and will pray for the Shively family.   Please continue to lift them up in your prayers while realizing that it is true what they say: "Tomorrow is not promised us and today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

Thank You Lord For You Blessings On Me!!!