Hopes and Prayers

Our hopes and prayer for the coming year is of continued safe travel, finding the perfect place to move, good fortune, eliminating more debt, and being fruitful.  Most of these are things we were blessed with last year and we are hoping those blessings will continue.

The new blessings we hope for are fertility/fruitful, and perfect place.  I think you all know of our difficulties with conception, but despite it all our household continues to grow.  Last time we gained Austin.  This year we are blessed to have R.'s brother, N. moving in with us.  This is why we pray for the perfect house.  I believe in planning for a harvest you intend to reap.  I have no doubt that we will eventually have a child to fill that space but we also enjoy hosting those that currently fill our hearts.  Many of you have enjoyed the comforts of our spare bedroom.  We also have the plethora of others who use it as a safe haven or crash pad.  We're also blessed to have a few who have basically adopted us as additional parents.  (We apparently have one in college already.  Go MARS HILL!!!)  So in order to be able to continue to provide comfort for those who seek it at our door, and prepare for children, we are seeking a 3/2 or more house in our perfect local - which is no easy feat.  But God has always put us exactly where we needed to be and I'm sure He will continue to do so.  Keep us in your prayers.


Update: We have found a house.  Great neighborhood, kid friendly, close to a park, dog park, and shopping.  We move in Aug. 1.  

Processing My Grief and Giving Thanks:

Today I found myself regularly returning to my computer screen to check my FB.  Addict you say?  Obsessed with FB you ask?  Bored with nothing else to do you assume?  All would be incorrect.  I found my mind constantly in prayer and thinking about the Shively family.  I kept returning hoping to catch the next update come across the screen.  Tears sprang to my eyes with empathy and understanding that can only be felt by someone who who has experienced sitting in the hospital not knowing what's wrong w/ your significant other and knowing that if they don't figure it out soon you might be returning home alone.  Today I was reminded of just how fortunate I was.  Sadly, my cousin Amanda wasn't as fortunate.  Today, she is forced to leave the bedside she has vigilantly sat beside and made to return home to explain things to her 2 young children and a huge void.  Her only hope is that Albie's organs are fit for donation.  Indeed a show of strength, bravery, and worthy of so much respect (as if those who know her didn't already know that).

So today, once again, I say thank you.  Thank you to a nurse cousin willing to do a little research and share the possibilities.  Thank you to an ER doctor willing to listen and take a harmless but life saving chance that it could be something so small as vitamins that could be easily replenished but would take days to late to get the lab results to prove it.  Thank you to nurses willing to listen and accept no when offering meds prescribed by an idiot doctor that had they been taken could have possibly put us right back in the same position for which we started.  Thank you to family and friends that supported us from day one.  Thank you to family and friends that continue to support us, offering help, assistance, a ride, an ear, or just simply a visit on occasion.  Thank you to family and friends who laugh with us about it all, even when those around us don't think it the least bit funny. 

Before finding out the extent of the problems Albie was having, I shot Amanda an email.  I cried writing it, I cry reading it, and I had no idea when I wrote it what would be coming.  It just reaffirms that God uses us sometimes, even when we don't realize it. 

  "...I know you're going crazy right now and getting sick of hearing everyone saying the same 'ole words but at the same time grateful you have the support of those around you. Just know that it doesn't matter how comforting the words or the people that it's ok to shed the tears and cry out to God. It's even ok to ask why. (as I'm sure you have many times already) But know that we all feel that way at some point and it's my opinion that God understands that too, so don't feel too guilty about it. Just keep the hope and faith that whatever God's will, is the same as our hope. But keep the faith that no matter what His will may be, He will carry you through to great blessings. I know it doesn't seem like it now and you may even roll your eyes a little at my words. But Robby and I are a living testament of that. It's a trial that I wouldn't wish on anyone but one that we have learned much from. I'm sincerely sorry that someone else in my family has to experience a similar trial and wish you only the same abundance of blessings to come. So it is with tear filled eyes that I write you with understanding, empathy, love, and above all else prayers. Know that we are here if you need us. Don't hesitate to call. We love you all."

Writing this I had no idea that Albie would be called home.  At the time I had hope, as we all had, that he would again pull through and live to ride the four-wheelers once more with his precious boys.  I had no clue that my words would ring so true and had hoped that it would only be applied to surviving the sterile walls of yet another hospital.  Unfortunately, my assumptions were very wrong.   

I am truthful when saying that through all the trials and losses, Robby and I have been greatly blessed.  God has shown his light in our lives and provided us the comfort of security that can only be found in Him.  So it is my sincere prayer that Amanda and her family find the peace, abundance of blessings, and faith in Christ through all of this so that they may once again know, feel, and experience joy in their lives on a daily basis. Thank you to those that have prayed, are praying, and will pray for the Shively family.   Please continue to lift them up in your prayers while realizing that it is true what they say: "Tomorrow is not promised us and today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

Thank You Lord For You Blessings On Me!!!

If I Can't Laugh About It - Who Can?

It's no secret that I laugh and joke about the fact that my husband is legally blind.  He and I both do really.  We've come to the conclusion that we can either laugh about it and move on, or we can be the sad saps that everyone expects us to be.  So we move on.  But it intrigues me how people chastise me for making a joke of it, or making light of the situation, when they ask me about it.  I'm not really sure what they expect.  Some say that it's incredibly inconsiderate and un-PC, which just shows how little they really know me.  Others just pat me on the shoulder and tell me how very sorry they are and how strong or mature I am, as most couples wouldn't survive such a tragedy; which is a double insult since 1.) you apparently thought so little of me and the relationship I have with my husband, and 2.) I don't need your pity. 

So let's cover the facts: 

• My husband is, and has been, legally blind since Oct. 22, 2009.
• My father still tries to hand him the keys to drive and still asks him what's coming when he's the passenger.
• We all still have to remember that he can't see it when we give non-verbal responses - You can imagine how many times I screw this up.  lol. 
• We find it funny when people get antsy and ask "What are you, blind?" and R. always responds, "well, yea...actually."  The look on their faces hasn't gotten old yet and the hesitation in their voice is just as amusing to R. 
• We would like to think that the warning signs for "Blind Drive" means that it just might be possible for him to give it a try or at least an option for the opportunity. 
• "OMG - did you see that?....oh wait no...I guess you didn't." still happens often with us and we still laugh and move on. 
• He threatens, pokes, whacks, and aggravates me w/ that white cane and I always threaten back saying, "I'm not like the people who apologize when you accidentally hit them, I will snatch it away and whack you back," to which he still chuckles about.
• The only people that think that R. is disabled is probably you and, as soon as the paperwork is through, the government. We prefer to say differently-abled.  He still does pretty much everything he's always done.....just a little differently and with more time now than he used to. 
• We are still a normal couple that likes to pick and aggravate each other, we just get to tease each other in ways that other couples can't.  We don't do it in a mean spirited way and we always laugh about it. 
• It's ok to use the word "see" when you're around.  We don't get offended by it and people usually look silly trying to avoid it. 
• We laugh a lot about various things, we make fun and laugh a lot about every day situations that we encounter that are more difficult due to his low-vision. 
• We laugh and find joy in our everyday life.
• We choose to see past the hard times, the pain, and the uncomfortable situations with a smile and/or a laugh.
• I promise you that you won't hear me say anything about it that I haven't already said to him and I can pretty much guarantee you that the jokes we make together are way worse.
• We laugh - we don't expect your pity, your sympathy, or your issues with how we choose to deal. 
• We laugh - and those who are close enough friends to be a part of our family join us in our laughter and toss in their own jokes and jabs in the process. 

I have one friend that told R. that she was upset that he wouldn't be able to see her well enough on her wedding day to see just how beautiful she is so she was going to have to get a braille dress. We continue to laugh.

Laughter may not always be the best medicine, but it's definitely one that gets you through the hard times and lets you come out on the other with a better perspective.

So what would you do in our situation?  Would you choose to laugh, or let the world fall in around you?  Would you still be with your significant other or would you have ran for the door?  Would you move on with life or would you wear a chip on your shoulder for all the world to see?

What would you do?