Ok, so admittedly I deal w/ things a little differently than most people. I deal w/ emotional situations a lot like my dad does, and like my dad, very few people understand how I deal. Sometimes people get offended with the way that I handle things close to the heart, but that's just me and to do it any other way probably wouldn't be pretty.
I have had a really hard time dealing w/ the death of my grandmother. I was very close to her so needless to say I've been very emotional lately. I have become quiet, reserved, secluded, and don't really want to talk about it much w/ people that don't know me and how it was with my granny and me (which really narrows down the field). However, I have also become even more jittery and have an even greater need to be doing something, more so than usual that is. Before I left going back home to help w/ everything I gave my house a through cleaning. Yesterday when I got home I watered my flowers, planted some peppers and strawberries, and took the house plants that were sent to the funeral that I brought home outside and watered them and arranged them on the porch for the summer. After I got everything done I wanted to do outside I went inside, ate a little something, and decided that I didn't want to wait for Mama to come and help me rearrange my furniture, so I started doing it by myself. I moved the big desk out of my bedroom and into the living room, and the little desk from the living room into my bedroom, then moved the bookshelf to where I wanted it, the recliner and coffee table are lying in wait right now until the TV stand gets moved to the corner where the little desk was, and the big couch is put on the wall where the TV stand is. Then the recliner will be put by the window and I haven't decided where the coffee table will go yet. I'm workin' on it. (*looks back and reads* Yea, I think we can all see how my mind works when I'm all emotions....there's a good example just in writing..lol.) So I've obviously been a busy beaver and I'm afraid to see what will happen once I have everything done. That's coming up soon.
Also, b/c of the way that I cope B. thinks I'm pissed at her. She thought that I didn't want her to come to the house the other day b/c of the way I sounded on the phone. She said that from the tone of my voice she didn't think I wanted her there. In reality I did (which I explained in the previous post) and sounded that way b/c I was trying to keep myself from breaking down on the phone. I guess B. doesn't know me as well as we all thought. That's what 5 years of not talking and seeing each other will do to ya I guess. But I'm not mad and I still love her same as always, but apparently the feelings not the same from the look of her myspace. But she has to understand that I posted what I posted last time for the same reason that I post almost everything. So that I can get things out so that they aren't in my head, so that I don't have that burden of thought process left on my shoulders, so that I can look back at them and rationalize it and see where the issue lies and what I can do to resolve it. That is why I post people. B/c it's what's in my head, a perspective of things from my world. Don't take any of it personally or to heart b/c I am willing to bet that when you read it, it will not be in the tone for which I meant it to be. Not to mention, if you aren't accustomed to dealing w/ emotional or depressed me it's a whole new ball game. It's just a part of how I deal and cope with things. I'm sorry for those of you who don't understand it, or don't get it, or don't want to have to deal with it, but I can't be sorry for doing it. It's just part of who I am and if that confuses you or upsets you just stop and ask me about it and I'll be happy to explain whatever it is that happened for you.
It wasn't just B. that was thrown off by my way of dealing, it was some of my extended family. Wed. I left the funeral home in a rush, some thought it was b/c I was mad b/c my brother forgot to bring me my purse, but in reality it was b/c I was up visiting my granny w/ my papa and he leaned over and kissed her. It just really threw me b/c I knew that was something I wouldn't get to see ever again. I didn't want everyone to see me in that state so I left for a while until I could find myself again, and then I returned. I can honestly say that's an image I'll probably never get out of my head. But at the same time, to know that when you've had a man to love you so much that he would kiss you even after you were cold and long dead, then you know you have truly been loved.
For those of you who have never had the "pleasure" of having the experience of emotional me, just know that the bubbly, goodie goodie, sweet, do anything for ya L. that you all know and love just ain't there. I am more of a mild withdrawn person that if set off is more of the pessimistic, cynical bitch. Some might say like I was my Sr. year in HS (which wouldn't be far from wrong b/c the first half I was depressed and was eventually medicated for it, but not many ppl saw that side of me. I am really good at hiding behind the mask that I have created). But hey, I think we all have a part of ourselves that we never show other ppl. That's just a part of me that VERY few get the inside scoop on.
So I wait, it'll all catch up w/ me eventually and I will just sit down and ball my eyes out until there aren't any more tear left but I still cry. It's hard to explain but that's what happens. I run from it until I just eventually have to MAKE time for it. I try to make sure there is someone there to help when that happens but it isn't always possible. Why wait you ask? B/c when I finally break and all is done and finished I just want to be held (as we all do) for a while. But mainly, when I break I am no good until I have slept the night b/c it physically and mentally exhausts me. Like I said...it ain't pretty.
So now I am sitting here at the last day of school and teacher post-planning. Why I am here I don't really know, it's not like my services are used more than maybe about once a day and most of those could have been done w/o me. I obviously need to get home and finish my living room and bed room that was left in shambles...lol. But even after I leave here I have to go meet with an interpreter friend of mine, I., and go to a meeting that we have at UGA about some work we are doing this summer. Then I'll get to go home. She and I are planning to go out and do something again this weekend. Don't know what yet b/c we're both broke but know that we don't wanna just sit at home. Especially me and especially right now, and I think she kinda knows that. I just wanna stay busy and get out of the house. Who knows what kind of trouble she and I will find to get into. For those of you who are curious, she's the one that died my hair blue for me back during Christmas. Hee hee. So you can imagine.
So I guess just keep me in your thoughts and prayers and toss me a line occasionally so that if I have nothing else to do I can always reply to e-mails.
So until next time kiddies:
Keep your nose clean and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
(Which don't narrow it down too much.)
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Update, death, friends, and comfort
Past:
To catch you all up work has been hell, the supervisors and the boss has been conferenced w/ on the hell it has become and hopefully things will be better if not before then hopefully next year (in school terms).
B accused R of stealing $60, he was insulted that she would think he would do that, I was insulted that she would think I would bring a thief to her house, but could understand why she thought it b/c he went into her house to get some things for me, I had told her he was coming but something came up and she wasn't there when he arrived and he waited for 30 minutes or so and no one came and it would be the only opportunity he had to get them. He knocked on the door again and the door came open on it's own so he just went in and got my things and left...I understand both sides and at this point I just stay out of it. Whatever, it's their argument.
I am still single w/ no prospects in site. *sigh* Who knew that I would be single at 25 and not really care. I figured I would be married and considering children at this point....HA....there goes that life plan out the window, but you know what...that's ok. I am happy being single. I don't have to worry about anyone but myself and frankly, I haven't seen anyone worth running after. At this point I just want to find a church near where I live and then I am hoping everything else will just fall into place. So if anyone knows of a church near Lexington or East Athens area that uses the KJV Holy Bible and knows how to serve a proper communion (w/o salted crackers) please let me know.
So that's what's been happening.
Present:
This week has been a rough one. I was home last weekend and my Granny went into the hospital. Sunday before I left she was doing considerably better but I knew that I should have stayed. I had a gut feeling that I didn't need to go but I went against it. Monday afternoon my dad calls and tells me that Granny died. Tuesday I was back home and helping out every way I could. I was VERY close to my grandmother. She was truly an inspiration to me. She is the person that first taught me to sign my alphabet. You could say that she's probably the reason that I chose the profession that I have. Last summer she taught me to quilt and the thought of that still brings a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye. She was an inspirational woman even after she had her stoke 20 years ago that left her w/o the ability to speak. Her passing left a HUGE hole in a lot of ppl's hearts that'll never be filled. However, there is no doubt in any of our minds where Granny is today. I figure that by now she has talked the ears off of everyone that would listen as well as played them a tune or two on a harmonica.
A "wise" friend told me when he found out that Granny died that "now you will find out who your friends are and how many REAL friends you have." He knew my grandmother and knows how much she means to me. He also knows loss and speaks from experience and I'll have to say that he wasn't wholly wrong. B told me on Tuesday night that she would come and help out at the house. I called her on Wednesday morning and she was still laying in the bed. I can totally understand that, especially w/ everything that she has to deal w/, so it didn't bother me. She called me back later to see how things were going and if we were going to be able to go to town like we had wanted and I told her no b/c I have a lot to do around the house getting things cleaned and ready for family and the ppl to bring in food and what not. She understood that and asked again if I wanted her to come and help. I told her that she didn't have to if she didn't want to (I honestly wanted her to come but wouldn't ask b/c I learned a long time ago that if you ask in a situation like that ppl will come if they want to or not but the help that is there is really more of a hindrance than a blessing), she said she would come if I wanted her to and I told her that I didn't want her to do anything that she didn't want to do. Shortly after she told me, well I am going to come help for a little bit, I can't stay long but I'll be there shortly. Shortly never came. I am sure that there is a reason that she didn't make it and I still love her all the same...but I will have to confess that I am disappointed. Just wish she'd have at least called back to say she wasn't going to be able to make it.
Work could obviously give a shit less b/c my brothers' places of work all sent flowers or something to the funeral, same for several of my cousins but my work did nothing....oh wait...they found me a sub, but that's their job. Oh well, guess I know where I stand there as well. DJ called and gave her condolence and said that many of the kids had asked about me from the various clubs that I help w/ but that's about it.
R came to the funeral home and to the funeral. Both my grandparents always thought a lot of him and Granny always said she was going to steal him from me. Papa was really glad to see him there. W has called or inquired about me several times since he found out. He called Tuesday and talked to me, his mom told me Wednesday night that she had talked to him and he asked about me and wanted to know how I was doing, she told him I was taking it hard and she said that he told her that he would call not to worry about it, then the funeral was Thursday and he called me tonight just to chat (aka: check up on me though he'd never admit it). He's also kept in touch via text as well. He and R have really kept me afloat through this.
Admittedly, when I am heartbroken or upset, I don't ask for help. I know this. I rely on God to provide me w/ the help I need. If I do ask for help it's b/c I have no where else to turn. In a situation like this I don't like to ask for help b/c it puts a great deal of pressure on the person to accept b/c they know that you are in emotional pain and it's hard to say no. That's why I generally won't ask. People will help if and when they want to with me. I have gone through a great deal of my life like that w/ emotional situations. God has always provided the right person at the right time. I guess that B just wasn't the right person for the job on this one. Just as he has for the last 12 years, R stepped up and accepted the challenge (and believe me, emotional me is a challenge and you never know just what you'll get you just have to be ready to deal with whatever I throw you...sometime literally). And a true brother, W, who says that his main goal in life is to make me miserable every chance he gets, has really been there to offer words of comfort and perspective that only he could give. God has truly blessed me and I thank him daily for that.
"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." John 14:18
You just never know in what form he will show up.
To catch you all up work has been hell, the supervisors and the boss has been conferenced w/ on the hell it has become and hopefully things will be better if not before then hopefully next year (in school terms).
B accused R of stealing $60, he was insulted that she would think he would do that, I was insulted that she would think I would bring a thief to her house, but could understand why she thought it b/c he went into her house to get some things for me, I had told her he was coming but something came up and she wasn't there when he arrived and he waited for 30 minutes or so and no one came and it would be the only opportunity he had to get them. He knocked on the door again and the door came open on it's own so he just went in and got my things and left...I understand both sides and at this point I just stay out of it. Whatever, it's their argument.
I am still single w/ no prospects in site. *sigh* Who knew that I would be single at 25 and not really care. I figured I would be married and considering children at this point....HA....there goes that life plan out the window, but you know what...that's ok. I am happy being single. I don't have to worry about anyone but myself and frankly, I haven't seen anyone worth running after. At this point I just want to find a church near where I live and then I am hoping everything else will just fall into place. So if anyone knows of a church near Lexington or East Athens area that uses the KJV Holy Bible and knows how to serve a proper communion (w/o salted crackers) please let me know.
So that's what's been happening.
Present:
This week has been a rough one. I was home last weekend and my Granny went into the hospital. Sunday before I left she was doing considerably better but I knew that I should have stayed. I had a gut feeling that I didn't need to go but I went against it. Monday afternoon my dad calls and tells me that Granny died. Tuesday I was back home and helping out every way I could. I was VERY close to my grandmother. She was truly an inspiration to me. She is the person that first taught me to sign my alphabet. You could say that she's probably the reason that I chose the profession that I have. Last summer she taught me to quilt and the thought of that still brings a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye. She was an inspirational woman even after she had her stoke 20 years ago that left her w/o the ability to speak. Her passing left a HUGE hole in a lot of ppl's hearts that'll never be filled. However, there is no doubt in any of our minds where Granny is today. I figure that by now she has talked the ears off of everyone that would listen as well as played them a tune or two on a harmonica.
A "wise" friend told me when he found out that Granny died that "now you will find out who your friends are and how many REAL friends you have." He knew my grandmother and knows how much she means to me. He also knows loss and speaks from experience and I'll have to say that he wasn't wholly wrong. B told me on Tuesday night that she would come and help out at the house. I called her on Wednesday morning and she was still laying in the bed. I can totally understand that, especially w/ everything that she has to deal w/, so it didn't bother me. She called me back later to see how things were going and if we were going to be able to go to town like we had wanted and I told her no b/c I have a lot to do around the house getting things cleaned and ready for family and the ppl to bring in food and what not. She understood that and asked again if I wanted her to come and help. I told her that she didn't have to if she didn't want to (I honestly wanted her to come but wouldn't ask b/c I learned a long time ago that if you ask in a situation like that ppl will come if they want to or not but the help that is there is really more of a hindrance than a blessing), she said she would come if I wanted her to and I told her that I didn't want her to do anything that she didn't want to do. Shortly after she told me, well I am going to come help for a little bit, I can't stay long but I'll be there shortly. Shortly never came. I am sure that there is a reason that she didn't make it and I still love her all the same...but I will have to confess that I am disappointed. Just wish she'd have at least called back to say she wasn't going to be able to make it.
Work could obviously give a shit less b/c my brothers' places of work all sent flowers or something to the funeral, same for several of my cousins but my work did nothing....oh wait...they found me a sub, but that's their job. Oh well, guess I know where I stand there as well. DJ called and gave her condolence and said that many of the kids had asked about me from the various clubs that I help w/ but that's about it.
R came to the funeral home and to the funeral. Both my grandparents always thought a lot of him and Granny always said she was going to steal him from me. Papa was really glad to see him there. W has called or inquired about me several times since he found out. He called Tuesday and talked to me, his mom told me Wednesday night that she had talked to him and he asked about me and wanted to know how I was doing, she told him I was taking it hard and she said that he told her that he would call not to worry about it, then the funeral was Thursday and he called me tonight just to chat (aka: check up on me though he'd never admit it). He's also kept in touch via text as well. He and R have really kept me afloat through this.
Admittedly, when I am heartbroken or upset, I don't ask for help. I know this. I rely on God to provide me w/ the help I need. If I do ask for help it's b/c I have no where else to turn. In a situation like this I don't like to ask for help b/c it puts a great deal of pressure on the person to accept b/c they know that you are in emotional pain and it's hard to say no. That's why I generally won't ask. People will help if and when they want to with me. I have gone through a great deal of my life like that w/ emotional situations. God has always provided the right person at the right time. I guess that B just wasn't the right person for the job on this one. Just as he has for the last 12 years, R stepped up and accepted the challenge (and believe me, emotional me is a challenge and you never know just what you'll get you just have to be ready to deal with whatever I throw you...sometime literally). And a true brother, W, who says that his main goal in life is to make me miserable every chance he gets, has really been there to offer words of comfort and perspective that only he could give. God has truly blessed me and I thank him daily for that.
"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." John 14:18
You just never know in what form he will show up.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Abandoning The Search And The Pandemonium That Ensues
Well it's been a while once again. But I have finally returned. I haven't been able to get online for any period of time at school so it's hard to post. But I FINALLY have net at home.....sorta. I got a new phone last weekend, a trio 650. It is a phone, a PDA, and it works as a modem as well. So I now have internet on my computer at home through my cell phone. My the things that we can do w/ cell phones these days. It's GREAT! Connection is a bit slow but, not really any worse than the dial up in which I am accustomed.
So things have obviously been busy at work lately. It's been the usual pain in the butt at times but what job isn't. I've made a few new friends along the way I suppose. Or at least I think I have. I was invited out for drinks by one of the teachers at school tomorrow night. Should prove to be interesting.
Let's see...I'm still single but, have basically given up on looking really. Not really worried about it anymore. However, everyone else seems to be. One of the teachers at school has apparently been plottin' against me. She gave me this number for a guy and told me to give him a call. I told her I don't call guys, tell him to call me. So she did....it took him a week but he finally called. I have talked to him twice. His name is S. and he's 34 (my oldest brother's age) which means he graduated in 1991. I, on the other hand, was only in the 4th grade at that point and didn't graduate until 1999. Which was when he got married and conceived his daughter. HUM.....He's a nice guy...just don't know if he's what I'm looking for.
So next weekend one of my fellow interpreters and I are going out for drinks. We have done this before and have been trying to plan to do it again but, haven't had the opportunity. However, this time she wants me to meet this really nice guy that used to date her daughter and after they broke up he still hung around. No biggie, all my X's still come and visit on occasion so that's not bad. He's around my age, also a good thing. And apparently he likes his women a little thick, ok so I can apply. And as she put it, if nothing else, he doesn't really know anyone in the area, and I don't know many ppl in the area so, if all else fails we can just be buddies. So far all sounds pretty well. We shall see how it goes after next weekend I suppose.
This past weekend was definitely one of interest to say the least. R. came up for a visit for 5 days. It was really nice having him around. It made me realize that I am ready to have that someone to come home to. It was nice knowing that when I came home from work that there was going to be someone there for me to talk to and at night knowing that there was going to be someone there to snuggle with. For those of you perverts out there who are sitting there going, "yea...we know what happened" I can assure you that you don't. I am still way to paranoid to be having sex, so don't even go there. However, I will say that I didn't sleep alone and that too was a nice change. I have found myself looking for the warmth of him at night and finding only the coolness of the other side of the bed. I don't know what that means or where it will go and only time will tell. Do I still care for R. and have feelings for him?.....yes. Do I think that we will get back together?....I honestly don't know. Do I trust him enough yet to start another full relationship w/ him?.....That would be the big question wouldn't it. I don't think that I can....not yet. I trust him more than I do many people. He is still one of the people that I talk about everything with and I consider him one of my best friends. But I don't know if I trust him enough to get into a relationship with again......not just yet. He may be moving to Augusta soon, which is only about 1 hour away. He is wanting to get out of South Ga. and closer to NC. He wants to live some place colder. It's something that he has always wanted to do. He has never liked the warmer climates. He has assured me that he's not moving up b/c of me, I'm just an added bonus. I think I am more of a part of the reason he's moving than he wants to admit to himself. I know that he wants to get out of South Ga. and he doesn't want to go back to Valdosta. I can understand that. There are several things in South Ga. that I think he is running away from in ways b/c he wants to get as far away from the memories of his 2 most recent devastating life altering mistakes. I can understand that too. He wants to get out from under the thumb and constant watch of his parent. Who doesn't understand that? He wants to live in a cooler climate. Well at least he's headed in the right direction. And he wants to be closer to me in hopes of being able to work things out in the future. I know that is one of the reasons for moving. He just doesn't want everyone else knowing that.....including me. oops. Even as we speak, he says I'm only a small part of the reason for his moving. At least he still understands that I still want him to date other ppl before we even consider getting back together and that and education is still also an important part of that equation.
So needless to say it's been interesting since I haven't been lookin' for a man anymore. Isn't that always how it goes? I am curious and ready to see how it all works out. It's just one of those parts of life that I wish I could fast-forward through and see how it all turns out. GRRRR. I hate waiting in suspense. Nothing I can do about it I guess. Nothing but wait. So until the next exciting adventure boys and girls, live well, stay safe, and always admire the flowers on the side of the road.
So things have obviously been busy at work lately. It's been the usual pain in the butt at times but what job isn't. I've made a few new friends along the way I suppose. Or at least I think I have. I was invited out for drinks by one of the teachers at school tomorrow night. Should prove to be interesting.
Let's see...I'm still single but, have basically given up on looking really. Not really worried about it anymore. However, everyone else seems to be. One of the teachers at school has apparently been plottin' against me. She gave me this number for a guy and told me to give him a call. I told her I don't call guys, tell him to call me. So she did....it took him a week but he finally called. I have talked to him twice. His name is S. and he's 34 (my oldest brother's age) which means he graduated in 1991. I, on the other hand, was only in the 4th grade at that point and didn't graduate until 1999. Which was when he got married and conceived his daughter. HUM.....He's a nice guy...just don't know if he's what I'm looking for.
So next weekend one of my fellow interpreters and I are going out for drinks. We have done this before and have been trying to plan to do it again but, haven't had the opportunity. However, this time she wants me to meet this really nice guy that used to date her daughter and after they broke up he still hung around. No biggie, all my X's still come and visit on occasion so that's not bad. He's around my age, also a good thing. And apparently he likes his women a little thick, ok so I can apply. And as she put it, if nothing else, he doesn't really know anyone in the area, and I don't know many ppl in the area so, if all else fails we can just be buddies. So far all sounds pretty well. We shall see how it goes after next weekend I suppose.
This past weekend was definitely one of interest to say the least. R. came up for a visit for 5 days. It was really nice having him around. It made me realize that I am ready to have that someone to come home to. It was nice knowing that when I came home from work that there was going to be someone there for me to talk to and at night knowing that there was going to be someone there to snuggle with. For those of you perverts out there who are sitting there going, "yea...we know what happened" I can assure you that you don't. I am still way to paranoid to be having sex, so don't even go there. However, I will say that I didn't sleep alone and that too was a nice change. I have found myself looking for the warmth of him at night and finding only the coolness of the other side of the bed. I don't know what that means or where it will go and only time will tell. Do I still care for R. and have feelings for him?.....yes. Do I think that we will get back together?....I honestly don't know. Do I trust him enough yet to start another full relationship w/ him?.....That would be the big question wouldn't it. I don't think that I can....not yet. I trust him more than I do many people. He is still one of the people that I talk about everything with and I consider him one of my best friends. But I don't know if I trust him enough to get into a relationship with again......not just yet. He may be moving to Augusta soon, which is only about 1 hour away. He is wanting to get out of South Ga. and closer to NC. He wants to live some place colder. It's something that he has always wanted to do. He has never liked the warmer climates. He has assured me that he's not moving up b/c of me, I'm just an added bonus. I think I am more of a part of the reason he's moving than he wants to admit to himself. I know that he wants to get out of South Ga. and he doesn't want to go back to Valdosta. I can understand that. There are several things in South Ga. that I think he is running away from in ways b/c he wants to get as far away from the memories of his 2 most recent devastating life altering mistakes. I can understand that too. He wants to get out from under the thumb and constant watch of his parent. Who doesn't understand that? He wants to live in a cooler climate. Well at least he's headed in the right direction. And he wants to be closer to me in hopes of being able to work things out in the future. I know that is one of the reasons for moving. He just doesn't want everyone else knowing that.....including me. oops. Even as we speak, he says I'm only a small part of the reason for his moving. At least he still understands that I still want him to date other ppl before we even consider getting back together and that and education is still also an important part of that equation.
So needless to say it's been interesting since I haven't been lookin' for a man anymore. Isn't that always how it goes? I am curious and ready to see how it all works out. It's just one of those parts of life that I wish I could fast-forward through and see how it all turns out. GRRRR. I hate waiting in suspense. Nothing I can do about it I guess. Nothing but wait. So until the next exciting adventure boys and girls, live well, stay safe, and always admire the flowers on the side of the road.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
News From the Home Front
Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE SOUTH GA! The weather here is great. I am back in shorts proudly flashing the whiteness typically covered by pants. It's WONDERFUL!
I still don't have my car back yet. It should be done middle of this week but since I am not going home until late Friday I can't get it until Saturday. I'm just ready to be back in my car. B. is hopefully going to take me back on Friday when she gets off work. Maybe I should just quit my job and move back home, become a freeloader and be happy all the days of my life. Not like I would actually do that but dang....ain't nothin' like South GA. I have missed it dearly. I wish there was a way to get a job here in the south but there just isn't a need for Sign Language Interpreters in South Ga....at least none that isn't connected to Nanci Scheetz. I refuse to work anywhere that is connected to that woman, but that's just me and my demons, and she's a demon.
So I have been in South GA for the past week. It's been GREAT! There hasn't been a truly boring/lonely moment since I got here. If nothing else I can always call up a friend or two and find someone to hang w/. That has been WONDERFUL!!!! GEEZ, I miss S. GA. I have had a busy week though I must say. Monday I went to the dentist in Tifton, then to Douglas. After that I went back home and just hung out for a while. Tuesday I went out w/ R. and go me some steak from Texas Roadhouse (my favorite restaurant) and got me some good steak like I been cravin'. We had fun, messed around Valdosta for a while and then came back to my mom and dad's house to watch a movie and work on Mom's computer. Wednesday I spend the morning sleepin', dealing w/ a few necessary things and then I went to have lunch w/ my dad. That was nice. When I got back from lunch I dropped him off at the shop and then went to B.'s house. I spend all afternoon w/ her and left her about 10pm and came home and chilled until I went to bed. Today, Thursday I have come back to Douglas and am currently working at my old job at Trophy World and Gifts, INC. to earn a few extra dollars to help pay for my car. Tomorrow I get to go to my mom's school and talk to the kids about Deaf Awareness. After school Mom is going to take me to B.'s house and I guess I will wait for her to get back and get off work and then we will head out towards Athens. This has been my week, busy but enjoyable. Anywho, nothing major happening or going on lately so I guess that about catches you up. Boring and probably a lot of things that you could have cared less about but I'm bored and wanted to type something...so there ya go. Guess I will post more later...maybe next time there will be more interesting things happening. Although I will have to say that it's been nice to have a boring mundane life for a while. I had almost forgotten what it was like. It's nice not to have a lot of drama for a change. *sigh* Let's just all pray it stays that way. Love you guys!
I still don't have my car back yet. It should be done middle of this week but since I am not going home until late Friday I can't get it until Saturday. I'm just ready to be back in my car. B. is hopefully going to take me back on Friday when she gets off work. Maybe I should just quit my job and move back home, become a freeloader and be happy all the days of my life. Not like I would actually do that but dang....ain't nothin' like South GA. I have missed it dearly. I wish there was a way to get a job here in the south but there just isn't a need for Sign Language Interpreters in South Ga....at least none that isn't connected to Nanci Scheetz. I refuse to work anywhere that is connected to that woman, but that's just me and my demons, and she's a demon.
So I have been in South GA for the past week. It's been GREAT! There hasn't been a truly boring/lonely moment since I got here. If nothing else I can always call up a friend or two and find someone to hang w/. That has been WONDERFUL!!!! GEEZ, I miss S. GA. I have had a busy week though I must say. Monday I went to the dentist in Tifton, then to Douglas. After that I went back home and just hung out for a while. Tuesday I went out w/ R. and go me some steak from Texas Roadhouse (my favorite restaurant) and got me some good steak like I been cravin'. We had fun, messed around Valdosta for a while and then came back to my mom and dad's house to watch a movie and work on Mom's computer. Wednesday I spend the morning sleepin', dealing w/ a few necessary things and then I went to have lunch w/ my dad. That was nice. When I got back from lunch I dropped him off at the shop and then went to B.'s house. I spend all afternoon w/ her and left her about 10pm and came home and chilled until I went to bed. Today, Thursday I have come back to Douglas and am currently working at my old job at Trophy World and Gifts, INC. to earn a few extra dollars to help pay for my car. Tomorrow I get to go to my mom's school and talk to the kids about Deaf Awareness. After school Mom is going to take me to B.'s house and I guess I will wait for her to get back and get off work and then we will head out towards Athens. This has been my week, busy but enjoyable. Anywho, nothing major happening or going on lately so I guess that about catches you up. Boring and probably a lot of things that you could have cared less about but I'm bored and wanted to type something...so there ya go. Guess I will post more later...maybe next time there will be more interesting things happening. Although I will have to say that it's been nice to have a boring mundane life for a while. I had almost forgotten what it was like. It's nice not to have a lot of drama for a change. *sigh* Let's just all pray it stays that way. Love you guys!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
:-( THE WEEK )-:
OK, so most of you know that my b-day sorta sucked big fat donkey di....well you get the point. I didn't think much of it right...just go on about my business, sulk about it for a day or two and move on...right? Yea no...not exactly how it happened. You know all the drama up til the 20th right.....so the morning of the 23rd I actually leave my house a little early. I was feeling kinda proud of myself and looking forward to what I hoped would be a pretty decent day. It was rainy that morning and a little hazy as I pull up to the stop sign at the end of my road. I look both ways....nothing, so I pull out and then I hear a BOOM! and my car starts moving to the left. I think, CRAP I just had a blow out and I'm gonna have to change a tire in the rain, good thing I left early. Then I hear a horn blow and I realize that someone had just hit me. I accidently pulled out in front of someone and they are now going into the shallow ditch. Oh yea, this is going to be a REALLY good day huh? so I pull over and get out and make sure that everything's ok. No one was hurt (Thank God!) and although damage was done to both cars it wasn't major damage, most appeared to be cosmetic and the axle's on both cars are bent but other than that there were no parts really knocked off or anything. However, I realized later why I didn't see the guy. You never think of things right on the spot when things like that happen, I was just so glad that no one was hurt and everything else that my mind wasn't functioning in analysis mode. So as I am thinking back over everything and trying to see it all over again in my minds eye I realize that I didn't see him b/c his headlights weren't on. The boy was driving a gray lost to the ground car (mustang) on a gray rainy morning w/o his lights on......hum....you tell me who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Needless to say that didn't help me any, I still got a ticket for not yielding while turning left. That's find and all, I get it but dang. If the boy had sense enough to have his lights on while driving on a gray rainy morning I'd have seen him. Oh well, as my daddy said, shit happens. So at this point I have decided that I will probably take the ticket to court if for no other reason that to see if I can at least get the fine reduced. I am already going to have to pay the insurance deductible of $500 to get mine fixed and the ticket is $130 more that I don't have. Maybe the judge will be in a good mood that day and have mercy on me. Pray that she does.
So right now I have my mom's car while mine is being fixed. What can I say, my mommy loves me. But needless to say that last 2 weeks haven't been a party. Nothing near, it's actually been quite frustrating. So that was Thursday, I obviously wasn't able to make it to work that day. My neighbor across the road let me use his truck to go to school on Friday. I am thankful for having some wonderful neighbors that have really stepped up to help me out. My dad came up Friday to get me and take me home so that I could get my mom's car. Saturday I went out w/ B. and her Dom. He took us out to eat at Tokyo Japanese Hibachi Grill. It was really nice. We decided that if nothing else we would celebrate the fact that at this point I am alive and not killing ppl..........yet. hee hee. After that we went to the bar and had a drink or two. B's Dom got sick while we were there but didn't tell us about it until later. We had fun though. Gave me some time away and not thinking about everything that had happened on Thurs. So while we are out on Sat. night W. called me and wanted to make a "business proposition" which ended up being EXTREMELY insulting to both B. and me, so you can imagine what it was. Then he texted me more times than I can count. The next day I told him that he had said enough the night before that he actually was able to piss me off, which is hard for him to do. I told him some of the things that he had said and some of the things that his friend had said when he got on the phone and he apologized. I haven't talked to him since. I was talking to him Sun. night on my way home and lost him when I hit the dead area (you all know how that goes) and tried to call him back. I left him a message to call me back and texted him to let him know I was home and to call me back......he never did. Oh well, his loss. I am done w/ trying to run after him. I was w/ the chase for a while, at this point he can come back and run after me for a while. I am tired of it. I have built that bridge and am crossing it as we speak, apparently leaving him on the other side........I just have to decide if I want to burn it when I get to the other side...hee hee hee. FIRE!!!!! it's so pretty.
So Monday and Tuesday I went to work in an obviously depressed, frustrated state of mind. Wednesday wasn't all that bad and today has just been me running around trying to get everything done that was required of me so it seems like things are back to normal....or at least as much so as they can be at this point (knock on wood). I still don't know much about my car. I need to call and see what they know about my car and when they think they'll have it fixed. All that is a mess, always is. The insurance agency and I have been playing phone tag for the past few days to no avail. We'll catch each other eventually. Just keep me in your prayers. I think we all know my patience on certain things are some what limited. *looking up*"Lord, I ain't prayed for patience, I'm happy w/ what I got."
So that's been my week...from Thurs. Feb 23rd until today. It's been a rough one but I have managed to survive w/o casualties. Needless to say, all comments of encouragement are appreciated, snide remarks will be edited to my liking before posting..lol.
Be well A/all!
So right now I have my mom's car while mine is being fixed. What can I say, my mommy loves me. But needless to say that last 2 weeks haven't been a party. Nothing near, it's actually been quite frustrating. So that was Thursday, I obviously wasn't able to make it to work that day. My neighbor across the road let me use his truck to go to school on Friday. I am thankful for having some wonderful neighbors that have really stepped up to help me out. My dad came up Friday to get me and take me home so that I could get my mom's car. Saturday I went out w/ B. and her Dom. He took us out to eat at Tokyo Japanese Hibachi Grill. It was really nice. We decided that if nothing else we would celebrate the fact that at this point I am alive and not killing ppl..........yet. hee hee. After that we went to the bar and had a drink or two. B's Dom got sick while we were there but didn't tell us about it until later. We had fun though. Gave me some time away and not thinking about everything that had happened on Thurs. So while we are out on Sat. night W. called me and wanted to make a "business proposition" which ended up being EXTREMELY insulting to both B. and me, so you can imagine what it was. Then he texted me more times than I can count. The next day I told him that he had said enough the night before that he actually was able to piss me off, which is hard for him to do. I told him some of the things that he had said and some of the things that his friend had said when he got on the phone and he apologized. I haven't talked to him since. I was talking to him Sun. night on my way home and lost him when I hit the dead area (you all know how that goes) and tried to call him back. I left him a message to call me back and texted him to let him know I was home and to call me back......he never did. Oh well, his loss. I am done w/ trying to run after him. I was w/ the chase for a while, at this point he can come back and run after me for a while. I am tired of it. I have built that bridge and am crossing it as we speak, apparently leaving him on the other side........I just have to decide if I want to burn it when I get to the other side...hee hee hee. FIRE!!!!! it's so pretty.
So Monday and Tuesday I went to work in an obviously depressed, frustrated state of mind. Wednesday wasn't all that bad and today has just been me running around trying to get everything done that was required of me so it seems like things are back to normal....or at least as much so as they can be at this point (knock on wood). I still don't know much about my car. I need to call and see what they know about my car and when they think they'll have it fixed. All that is a mess, always is. The insurance agency and I have been playing phone tag for the past few days to no avail. We'll catch each other eventually. Just keep me in your prayers. I think we all know my patience on certain things are some what limited. *looking up*"Lord, I ain't prayed for patience, I'm happy w/ what I got."
So that's been my week...from Thurs. Feb 23rd until today. It's been a rough one but I have managed to survive w/o casualties. Needless to say, all comments of encouragement are appreciated, snide remarks will be edited to my liking before posting..lol.
Be well A/all!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Wanna hear it?...here it goes....
Ok, so as you all know, Friday was my birthday. Everything that I had planned to do this past weekend fell through, and I do mean EVERYTHING! Even the small minute little things that weren't really a big deal, went sour on me. It really SUCKED! So I was really looking forward to next weekend, b/c that was when B. was planning to come up and we were going to celebrate the way it was meant to be done.......theoretically that is. Apparently it was all in theory b/c as my luck would have it...she's not even going to get to come up next weekend. Go figure huh? So I guess I will go home. There's nothing else to do and I don't want to spend another weekend alone sulking in my house and being a house frow. I want to get out and do something and there's no one here to do anything w/. If I go home I can go get the birthday steak I was meant to have and spend some much needed time w/ mom and maybe even find some time to drag B. off to get our piercings. It's like I told R., I don't think I was meant to have good birthdays and Christmas-es b/c it never fails that is things are going to go wrong and I am going to end up crying it will always be on Christmas and my birthday. Any other day of the year it's not that bad at all....but those two days, no matter what I do, how careful I am, how meticulous or non-meticulous I am, it never fails that no matter what happens everything will go to the dogs and I'll end up in tears. Welcome to my world, and ppl wonder why I'm so screwy.
I will have to say that the best thing that happened this weekend was I got to talk to my baby boy (the youngest of the two boys that I kept while I was in college) on Friday. I cried then just b/c I was so happy to hear his voice. However, it made me realize that he's growing up on me, and I'm missing it. That was a really hard revolution to have b/c I have seen everything in this kids life. I was there for the first time he sat up on his own, the first steps he took, the first time we went to the bathroom by himself, I took him out to eat at his first sit down restaurant, I have been there for almost the entire first 5 years of this kids life and now I'm not. That's really hard. Then his brother, oh geez, he was 3 when I started keeping them so I was there w/ him for a lot as well and now he's in 2nd grade and I am sure at the top of his class b/c he's incredibly smart. I guess I just miss them both so much. I am ready for the summer to get here. I am definitely going to Canada for a visit. I don't care what it costs or what I have to do, it'll totally be worth it.
I have so much I know I will be doing this summer that it's scary. I will be in Fla. for a week this summer, then I will be a camp for 1 possibly 2 weeks, I will be in Canada probably for about a week, and then who knows what else will be thrown in there. It should be interesting. When I told the boys that I would be coming to visit them this summer the oldest of the two pointed out that it meant that I was going to have to get on a plane.....which is going to be a new experience for me b/c I have never been on a plane before. However, he comforted me by saying that he would be at the airport waiting for me when I arrived. He's so cute. I am sure that when I get to Canada that I will just rent a car and drive myself but still, it was a nice thought. My babies are concerned about me.
Anyway, so I guess that will be all for now. I am going to jet out a little early and go get some pics developed and maybe pick up a new camera. I need one and I have had my eye on one for about 3 weeks now. I think it should have my name on it, don't you? It's a 6 megapixl 12x optical zoom digital that with tax will cost me well more than I should be paying but oh my gosh, when I say I need one I mean it. I am still using the one that my mother had when I was 12 (if not before) that she handed down to me, you know the old 35 mm type that you take a pic and then wait 5 minutes for the flash to recharge. I think it's time for an update. Anywho, I will talk to you all later. Be well and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
I will have to say that the best thing that happened this weekend was I got to talk to my baby boy (the youngest of the two boys that I kept while I was in college) on Friday. I cried then just b/c I was so happy to hear his voice. However, it made me realize that he's growing up on me, and I'm missing it. That was a really hard revolution to have b/c I have seen everything in this kids life. I was there for the first time he sat up on his own, the first steps he took, the first time we went to the bathroom by himself, I took him out to eat at his first sit down restaurant, I have been there for almost the entire first 5 years of this kids life and now I'm not. That's really hard. Then his brother, oh geez, he was 3 when I started keeping them so I was there w/ him for a lot as well and now he's in 2nd grade and I am sure at the top of his class b/c he's incredibly smart. I guess I just miss them both so much. I am ready for the summer to get here. I am definitely going to Canada for a visit. I don't care what it costs or what I have to do, it'll totally be worth it.
I have so much I know I will be doing this summer that it's scary. I will be in Fla. for a week this summer, then I will be a camp for 1 possibly 2 weeks, I will be in Canada probably for about a week, and then who knows what else will be thrown in there. It should be interesting. When I told the boys that I would be coming to visit them this summer the oldest of the two pointed out that it meant that I was going to have to get on a plane.....which is going to be a new experience for me b/c I have never been on a plane before. However, he comforted me by saying that he would be at the airport waiting for me when I arrived. He's so cute. I am sure that when I get to Canada that I will just rent a car and drive myself but still, it was a nice thought. My babies are concerned about me.
Anyway, so I guess that will be all for now. I am going to jet out a little early and go get some pics developed and maybe pick up a new camera. I need one and I have had my eye on one for about 3 weeks now. I think it should have my name on it, don't you? It's a 6 megapixl 12x optical zoom digital that with tax will cost me well more than I should be paying but oh my gosh, when I say I need one I mean it. I am still using the one that my mother had when I was 12 (if not before) that she handed down to me, you know the old 35 mm type that you take a pic and then wait 5 minutes for the flash to recharge. I think it's time for an update. Anywho, I will talk to you all later. Be well and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Lemonade Anyone?
So I made it though V-day. This is a feat in itself. Since I work in a HS, V-day is a BIG deal. Walking down the hall you see balloons w/ expressions of love, flowers, more stuffed animals than you can count and some so big they weren't able to fit in a desk of their own and were forced to reside in the corner for the duration of the class. But then you were also able to easily pick out those single folks as they walked the halls dodging eye contact w/ everyone else in hopes that no one else would notice that they were not taken, and the occasional few singles who would frantically search the hall for their crush in hopes that he/she would notice them on this special day. *sigh* So needless to say it SUCKED being in a HS on V-day. Oh well, life moves on weather you go w/ it or not......so I move.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!!
For those of you who haven't noticed....it's only ONE MORE DAY!!!! TOMORROW IS THE DAY PEOPLE!!!!! Mark it and let it be known. Tomorrow I will be........oh wait.....some of you don't know me.....don't know how old I am....and should we meet might think me younger.....humm....oh ta-heck w/ it....if you don't know me turn around and don't look....I'll whisper it...I'll be 25.
(You'll have to highlight the spot to see it. I'm being berry berry sneaky....so shhh...don't tell no body. Who knows how many other messages I have done this way thoughout the blog...hummmm...see, now I have your curiosity hummm?)
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
Hopefully my b-day plans will go off as planned. Not holding my breath for it but one can always be hopeful. However, it seems that every time I turn around there's a road block and no one is coming, then I turn around again and 1 person is coming, then again they're all coming, then no one is again....so at this point, it's anyone's guess. We shall see I suppose. The last time I had a b-day go off w/o a hitch I didn't know about it. I helped plan the entire thing b/c I thought it was a party for someone else who's b-day is Feb 13th. I was helping plan a b-day party for her (at least, so I thought). So I get there and it is my job to keep this person occupied while things are set up, and she thought that she was keeping me occupied while they were getting things set up, so when we both came out of the room after having a very messy, very fun, baby powder fight we were both VERY surprised. Neither of us knew that the party was for us, we both thought that the party was for the other person. I obviously have some sneaky friends. It was great.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
Since then, they still haven't been able to completely clean up all the baby powder (that was my 17th b-day and believe me when I tell ya that stuff stays in the air and air vents and is impossible to get out of those corners) and every time I try to plan something it always falls through. I have decided that if I am going to have a b-day that happens the way it was planned, the best way to do it, is not to tell me about it. That's the only way it'll happen. Otherwise, there'll be more complications than you can count. Plus, I just love a good surprise.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
So I guess that we will see tomorrow who all is going to show. P. (a fellow interpreter) and I were planning to go out to dinner after school, before everyone arrived, but that probably won't happen until next week. She is getting sick and doesn't know if she will be here tomorrow and really doesn't need to be out in the weather. So that's no biggie, will gimmie a chance to go home and get everything straighten up before anyone arrives, if they do arrive. B. is supposed to be coming if she gets the money situation worked out and will probably arrive around 9:00 pm-ish and W. is going to try to come. If he is able to come he will be leaving after work and he never knows what time that will be (not like I know for sure what's up w/ him since the only communication I have had w/ him in over a week has been via text). So one is coming if the money can be arranged and the other if he doesn't have to work. HUM.....looking some what bleak. I hate it when that happens. Oh well, as they say, when life give you lemons, make lemonade.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
I think I should just open up my own shop. I don't think a stand would cut it...would definitely need something bigger w/ the quantity I have at this point. So I guess the next question is....Who's up for some lemonade?
DON'T FORGET I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!! Y? B/C IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!!
For those of you who haven't noticed....it's only ONE MORE DAY!!!! TOMORROW IS THE DAY PEOPLE!!!!! Mark it and let it be known. Tomorrow I will be........oh wait.....some of you don't know me.....don't know how old I am....and should we meet might think me younger.....humm....oh ta-heck w/ it....if you don't know me turn around and don't look....I'll whisper it...I'll be 25.
(You'll have to highlight the spot to see it. I'm being berry berry sneaky....so shhh...don't tell no body. Who knows how many other messages I have done this way thoughout the blog...hummmm...see, now I have your curiosity hummm?)
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
Hopefully my b-day plans will go off as planned. Not holding my breath for it but one can always be hopeful. However, it seems that every time I turn around there's a road block and no one is coming, then I turn around again and 1 person is coming, then again they're all coming, then no one is again....so at this point, it's anyone's guess. We shall see I suppose. The last time I had a b-day go off w/o a hitch I didn't know about it. I helped plan the entire thing b/c I thought it was a party for someone else who's b-day is Feb 13th. I was helping plan a b-day party for her (at least, so I thought). So I get there and it is my job to keep this person occupied while things are set up, and she thought that she was keeping me occupied while they were getting things set up, so when we both came out of the room after having a very messy, very fun, baby powder fight we were both VERY surprised. Neither of us knew that the party was for us, we both thought that the party was for the other person. I obviously have some sneaky friends. It was great.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
Since then, they still haven't been able to completely clean up all the baby powder (that was my 17th b-day and believe me when I tell ya that stuff stays in the air and air vents and is impossible to get out of those corners) and every time I try to plan something it always falls through. I have decided that if I am going to have a b-day that happens the way it was planned, the best way to do it, is not to tell me about it. That's the only way it'll happen. Otherwise, there'll be more complications than you can count. Plus, I just love a good surprise.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
So I guess that we will see tomorrow who all is going to show. P. (a fellow interpreter) and I were planning to go out to dinner after school, before everyone arrived, but that probably won't happen until next week. She is getting sick and doesn't know if she will be here tomorrow and really doesn't need to be out in the weather. So that's no biggie, will gimmie a chance to go home and get everything straighten up before anyone arrives, if they do arrive. B. is supposed to be coming if she gets the money situation worked out and will probably arrive around 9:00 pm-ish and W. is going to try to come. If he is able to come he will be leaving after work and he never knows what time that will be (not like I know for sure what's up w/ him since the only communication I have had w/ him in over a week has been via text). So one is coming if the money can be arranged and the other if he doesn't have to work. HUM.....looking some what bleak. I hate it when that happens. Oh well, as they say, when life give you lemons, make lemonade.
I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!
I think I should just open up my own shop. I don't think a stand would cut it...would definitely need something bigger w/ the quantity I have at this point. So I guess the next question is....Who's up for some lemonade?
DON'T FORGET I'LL BE 25 TOMORROW!!!! Y? B/C IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
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