The Count Down Begins

AH...30 days until I'm the big 25! Ok, so for the first time since I was 7 I actually have birthday plans. My 7th B-day was the last time that I had an actual party that I knew about w/ a few of the special ppl in my life. Actually I have plans for the weekend of my b-day and the weekend before so it should be really fun. However, I will have to say that I had a surprise b-day party for my 17th b-day. That was loads of fun and funny as h*ll b/c I actually helped plan it b/c I thought it was for someone else....and it was...but it was also for my b-day and I didn't know it until they brought out the cake w/ my name on it as well. Talk about feeling like an idiot. Yea...that was me...lol. But this one I actually get to have the ppl around that I want and go to the bars and do what I want and all that stuff...loads of fun. That is something that I didn't even get to do for my 21st b-day. I think that is part of the reason the everyone sees it as a challenge to get my drunk, and we all know how much B. loves a little competition. Bring it on girlie. We shall see.

So this past weekend was very cool. I ended up doing a little of it all. I shopped w/ mom (always worth the trip), hung out w/ B. and reminisced about "the good 'ole days" and went to the bar and let her get her buzz on. Then we went to church on Sunday and out to lunch and then she went out w/ R. and I to dinner. That was cool. Then she and Mr. V. went back to her house and crashed and I went back to R.'s house for a few min. I even had to do some consoling while I was home this weekend. reassurance is apparently something I am good at although I hate doing it. Especially in the situations that I end up getting myself in. I may be a B*tch but when you put a few tears in on me I am just like any man and I hesitate and start to feel really sorry when I have just as good a reason to maintain being a total b*tch. Sometimes I wish I could do just that...but for some reason I continue to be an old softie. (sshhhhh don't tell anyone though).

So I am now back in Athens and am back at work. Life is back to normal once again, or at least as normal as it has ever been...which isn't very..but hey...I like it. I should be here until the weekend of Feb 7th when I go home for my nephew's b-day and then the two weekend following I will have company which will be here to help me celebrate my b-day. YEA!!!!! Will definitely let you guys know how those two weekends go. Especially the weekend of my b-day. Feb 17th is my b-day and B. will hopefully be here, then the 18th she and I go up to Royceston and get our nips pierced, then we go to ATL and go out w/ L. and party til we drop. Til then, will keep you posted on the boring and mundane.

This weekend: love, jealousy, and Mr. Vanilla

*sigh* The weekend is quickly approaching and it promises to be a packed one. How is it that when we have a holiday or a long weekend when most ppl would be getting rest that I always end up being busier and getting less rest than I would had I actually just stayed home. Staying home would be so good right now. I've been plagued by insomnia for the last few nights and it's definitely taking its toll. However, I am looking forward to some of the things that I have to do when I go home I just really dread getting everything ready for it. I have to leave school on Friday and go home unhook my computer, load it in the car to take to R. for updates and a check-up and pick up my cooler, go to the deer processor and pick up the deer meat waiting there, then from there I will be heading home. Chances are this will put me leaving later than normal b/c once I hit T-town I have to go into town instead of cutting through the woods like normal which would cut off 20+ minutes. Saturday my mom has a whole day planned basically so that we can go see a friend and their new baby and then go shopping in Valdosta. When we get back I will go to B's house and hang for the night and I think we all know there will be very little sleep had there. I am sure that we will be staying up late and watching movies, catching up and all that and then we get up on Sunday morning and go to church. Hopefully we will be able to sit though it and stay awake. After church we go out and eat then I go back to T-town w/ B. and A. and then go back home and go visit w/ my nephews and such. At some point I also have to go visit w/ Papa and Granny. Hopefully Monday I will be able to sleep in so that I will not be dead driving home. lol. Like I said, most of it I am looking forward to...it's the exhaustion that will ensue that will SUCK. Oh well, I'll live...and if I don't we'll all know what I died from. lol. As Always through it'll just be really busy. But hey, it wouldn't be a trip home if it wasn't. Then again I am sure that once I have had some good sleep I won't be so GGUURRR about it tomorrow. You know how it is.

Here's an interesting tid bit that still amuses me. B. has forbidden Mr. Vanilla (her boyfriend) to come over the night that I am there. We basically want to catch up w/o the presence of a male and have some girl time. Having said this, Mr. Vanilla is jealous and feels threatened by me b/c he thinks that B. and I together would just be.....well....let's just say that he's afraid I'll persuade her that he's not good enough for her and that there are better things. Mr. Vanilla doesn't believe that I have enough respect for him not to do that. I have known Mr. Vanilla since Jr. HS. I used to do theatre w/ his mom and we were in the band together at one point. Now if he was someone that I didn't think was right for her....he'd have to worry b/c I would be trying to get her to look for love elsewhere. But although Mr. Vanilla is ...... well....exactly that I don't think that he and B. dating is a bad thing. I do wish he would offer her more than he has but hey....it's not my place to complain. If she can live w/ it who am I to bitch for her. She loves him and he likewise loves her and A. as well which is a HUGE deal. I couldn't break up something that beautiful. I think that B and I both have an understanding that we will accept the things that the other wants and support them in it in all ways. We may no always agree w/ it but we know that once the other had made up their mind there is no changing it. Everyone else can like it or lump it as far as we are concerned. So Mr. Vanilla, if you happen to stumble in and read this, believe me when I tell you that you have nothing to worry about. B. belongs to you even if you won't possess her as she wishes. She loves you and that is what counts and I would never try to take someone away from another that they truly love.

L., if you stumble in and read this I know you don't love S. Lie to yourself or whatever but hey, you admitted it at one point so you know it yourself but just don't want to face it. You know where I stand and my thoughts on it. You know where I am on that. It's that whole protector things I have w/ you. You did it to yourself...lol. Hey, you know my opinions before everything but I am actually voting on Bruiser now. Before I wouldn't have thought, but he's mellowed and you know you love him. I'd wait it out. Anyway, I guess that is my rant or eschewing of information for the day. So I guess my advice for the day would be:

Don't stick w/ someone you don't really love, b/c you never know what you might be passing by or giving up in the process. You could just be passing by Mr/Ms Right.

Take care and be well all! Until next time....

Children Will Be Children

As we can all see B. is enciting a riot here...lol. B. thinks she knows me better than R. does and he thinks he knows me better than B. does and I just think they both bring out a different part of me that they know and the other doesn't get to see as much of.

B., well let's just say she has a tendency to bring out the wild side of me. The side that I often forget is there or that I ever had. That can sometimes be a little scary but I think she also brings out that driving force of realization that says, "You ain't gettin' any younger and you really don't think you'll do this sh*t when you're 80 do ya? You're young and single and now is the time to get it done."

R. tends to bring out some of the softer sides of me. R. has helped me over the years to come to a lot of realizations and helps keep me grounded. I think that is part of the reason that after everything that has happened we have remained friends. He's a good center for me. When things have been at their worst for me the last 7-8 years R. has been there to help ground me and pull me out of whatever hole I found myself in. When things went wrong and I found myself in a major depression he was the one that helped me get off my meds. When my nephew got ran over he was there to calm me and help me when I freaked out afterwards and through everything that has ensued since. Through all the flashbacks and so forth....all the sucky crap he has helped me get through.

Now over the years B. has been there and shoved me through a lot when she was here. I think we both missed a HUGE chunk of each others life in the last 5 years or so since HS. But just as B. has helped me over the years, R. has likewise pulled, coaxed, and encouraged me through so much as well. HUMMMM...seems I find myself in a predicament. Two ppl that are really important in my life don't see eye to eye and in all honesty neither of them cares much at all for the other. Separating friends really makes things hard. WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?! All I can say is that you are both going to have to build a bridge and get over it. Deal w/ it b/c I am not giving up one for the other. You're both my friends whether you like each other or not. It's not a competition, I love ya both. I know you were both very much joking around....but I also know enough of you both to know that there was a lot of seriousness in those jabs as well....So make nice and stop bickering.

BTW B. the piercer doesn't count. You said drunk and flashing..lol. I still don't even think I'll see drunk. Tipsy maybe...drunk...I doubt. We shall see but I am hoping that R. doesn't have to bow down to you b/c.....well...you know me.

So we have the weekend set. You both will get your perspective time..lol. *rolling eyes and shaking head* Sat. after I have time w/ my mom and have made a few needed rounds I will be at your house B. and we shall ensue w/ making your vanilla boyfriend very nervous. Sun. we go to church and out to eat w/ my rentals and then I will make sure you and A. get back home ok. Then I will go back home and make another needed round either to my adopted brother's house to see his new baby or go see my nephews and grab a few things (whichever doesn't get done on Sat.) and then I am off to dinner that night w/ R. See....we can do this and no one is hogging me. Besides, you will both be coming up to visit me soon on your chosen weekend. Just keep me posted on progress.

So as Amy Grant once sang, "Children behave....."

Love you both!

~L

Parties-Church

AAAHHHHHH...the New Year. It's officially 2006...or at least it is when I can remme to put it on the checks. Otherwise I'm stuck in a time warp. So I hope everyone had a better New Year than I did. It SUCKED! I had to come back to Athens before the New Year so that I could miss all the major traffic and so I could actually get some rest before I had to go back to work that Monday. I had plans but I ended up spending New Years ALONE! My Redneck X was supposed to come up for a visit and have New Years w/ me but his boss fired him so he didn't have the money, R was supposed to come but his boss told him on Thrus. that he had to work Fri so he wasn't able to come up, so at that point I called B. B. was all excited and ready to back up her and A. and come right on up.....but Friday morn. her boss called her and asked her to work and since she needed the money she didn't have much of a choice. I swear the bosses conspired against me this year. Here I was with the highest of hopes and excitement b/c for once I would be w/ "adults" and would be able to get a New Years kiss and instead I got a date the tv, an amaretto stone sour, and the freakin' New Years Ball. Granted I was receiving calls from them all the entire day saying Happy New Year and they're thinkin' of me and all that...but dang.....I hate being alone.

However, I would like it to be known. B. has PROMISED to come up for my B-day (Feb. 17th for those of you w/ the lax memory) and she and I will go to L.'s and to ATL to the clubs where she says they will proceed to get me pa-snuckered. Or at least she says they are going to try. I have never been drunk before so every time I tell someone that they take it as a challenge. Whatever, you're always willing to try but you can't buy me any more drinks than I am willing to down......wait....well....I guess you can but it would be a total waste of money and if you're that stupid......well......I probably haven't or wouldn't invited you along. However, anyone who just happens to be at the bar that night....if you see us there and wanna buy a round I am sure that the girls will not argue. I think that we have decided to make it a girls night though.....so guys...look out...3 on the prowl. Look for the sober girl w/ the 2 lush ho's trying to hook me up w/ you..lol. I am sure that at some point we will end up at L.'s favorite place, Friday's. She should just buy stock in the place...I swear. Should be interesting to see.

As an update, those of you in T-town, I will be home the weekend before Jan. 16th. B. has claimed me for one night already so if you wanna catch me at some point you better put in your options now. Who knows what the parental units have in store for me. My mom always has a list of things she wants me to accomplish while I am home. B., I am thinking Sat. night for use b/c you and A. are going to church w/ me this time around...remme. HA!....You ain't gettin' out of it this time hoochie! I promise you won't get kicked out of my dad's church. They're Baptist not Presbyterian. Baptist tend to have more sympathy and a need to assist. Some of them may think they're better than you are but they at least think that they can raise you up to their standards w/ some good ole southern charm and sophistication and if they can't they'll just "bless your heart" you to death and put you one the prayer list. lol. You know it goes. Can I get an AMEN! hee hee.

*reads back* Holy Cow...I go from talkin' about partying and then to church....now there's a concept. Leave it to the PKs right? We always were the worst...or at least that's what everyone says. But do you know why that's typically the case? B/c we had to play w/ the deacon's kids growing up and to survive we had to learn to be as mean or meaner than they were just to get out alive. Come on ppl...concepts...it's not that hard to figure out. We all remme the deacon's kids.....You know I'm right.

*sigh* So for those of you I didn't get a chance to get a card out to you this Holiday....Merry/Happy Late Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. Until next time ladies and gentlemen, as Stone Sour puts it...
"....Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean, sh*t snort and blaspheme. Let the heads cool and the engines run, b/c in the end everything we do, is just everything we've done."

.....things will be better tomorrow...

Holy Cow, ok...so I obviously have a problem w/ commitment when it comes to writing. Lol. Actually I haven't been able to get in front of a computer with internet long enough to really do much of anything except check my e-mail. I am just hoping that my QA scores will come in soon so that I can get a raise and will be able to get online. It will be nice. Although, b/c I live out in the boonies I will only be able to have dial up but at least it's better than nothing. If I need to do something that requires a fast connection I will just have to wait until I can get in front of a computer at school or something. But it will also mean that I really will not be able to play WOW the way in which it was ment to be played. That sucks but I think I shall live. I can cope. Not like I am home enough to really play anyway. Playing a game for which you have to pay for really requires one to be online a good bit...otherwise it's not worth the money you pay for it. Oh well, life goes on.

OK, so Thanksgiving has passed and Christmas is coming up. I don't know how excited I really am. It's weird. I am broke as hell this year and don't really have the money to do much of anything. I am having to be really creative this year in my gift giving. I have made many things. I am probably going to make an ornament to give to the teachers that I work w/. I think that will be the cheapest and easiest thing to do. But this also means that I don't have money to buy anyone back home anything. This also blows chunks. I think that most of them understand though. They have all basically told me not to give them anything. Again I have been creative. I have bought ornaments to give to my brothers in the shape of the leg lamp from " A Christmas Story" and I still have to go get my traditional ornaments for my nephews that I haven't gotten yet. Which means that I am going to have to go find a good silver ornament that I like from Hallmark b/c I have a new nephew this year but I also have to get it engraved as well. Time is running so short....as is the money that it requires. As for my boys, T. and J., I know that T. wants a toothbrush w/ a timer on it so that he doesn't have to keep asking, " was that long enough," when he brushes his teeth. This means that I will have to give J. one too b/c he wants the same things his brother has. NP, but I also want to get them something else as well although I don't know what that would be. Not to mention that they have now moved to Canada. I am HATING that b/c it means that I won't be able to see them when I go home. That REALLY SUCKS! Oh, well, I shall live. Just means that I will have to take a trip to Canada this summer so that I can see them. *sigh* As for my sister-in-law I am drawing pictures of the boys so that she can have them. That is going to be her Christmas, although I only have one of the completed. I have to finish the one that I am doing for B. for Christmas as well. Then I have to find something that I can give to S. which shouldn't be too hard. But I am still at a loss for what to give to my parents. I am totally clueless. Oh well...time will tell won't it.

I am really dreading being home for 2 weeks. I don't know. I was kinda wanting to wait to go home until at least Dec. 19th or 20th but I have to go home on the 17th so that I can be there for the Bennett family get together. That is the only time of year that I get to see many of those ppl. Kinda sad really. I did get to see most of them recently b/c there was a death in the family and we all went to that but if it wasn't for that I wouldn't see most of them otherwise. So I have to go home on the 17th and can't really come back until the 29th b/c I have a Dr. appointment on the 28th. Coincidentally the 17th is my mother's birthday and the 29th is my oldest brother's birthday. GEEZ, I am really thinking that at some point I am going to have to make a trip back up if for nothing else than to just basically check on the bills, make sure that everything is ok. Just have to figure out who I want to drag back up to Athens w/ me for a weekend. It's not like I don't have a stream of ppl that would be willing to come, I just have to figure out who I will have the patience enough for to stay in a car for 4 hours w/ on the drive up, Sat. and Sun. and then for 4 hour drive back. HUM.....that narrows down the list a good bit. lol. Hate to say it but it's totally true. I am sure that my mom would be willing to come but I am also sure that she has a list of things that have to be done that weekend so she will not be able to. so that leaves R., S., B., and I am sure that if given time I can come up w/ a few other ppl that would be possibilities. Who knows. At this point I am not really all that worried about it. I will worry about it when it gets closer to time.

As Scarlett O'Hara always said, "oh fiddle-de-dee, I'll just worry about it tomorrow. Tomorrow, yes, things will be better tomorrow."

What's up

Ok, so it's been a while since I really sat down to post. Time has been limited, things have been hectic and actually...to be honest....quite boring. Life in Athens is like one big party that someone forgot to invite me to. There are often things going on in town that I could so, ya know, go to the bars, join a gym, take a class, ect. But the problem is, I'm not a drinker, I'd rather work out at home and not go through the shame and embarrassment of going to the gym, and by the time I get off work I am too tired and brain dead to want to go take a class some where. I keep hoping that at some point some random cute, sophisticated, unscary guy will come up to me and ask me out. However, I know that should this ever happen, due to my luck w/ men, he would be some psychotic stalker cheater redneck that has no ambition. I know that sounds really pessimistic of me but ya know, at this point, if you expect and plan for the worst and for once the best does actually happen it's always a pleasant surprise and makes you happier and more excited than everyone else thinks you should be.

Hum, so to update everything that has happened the past week or so....

Mr. B has yet to ask me out (which is obvious by the above statement). I fear he is not interested but at this point it's not like it matters. I cope and smile, talk, and move on w/ life. NO DWELLING!

My weirdo neighbor C. hasn't called me in about a week and a half if not 2 weeks. There have been moments that I have considered calling and just talking or asking if he wanted to come watch a movie....but although I have had those BRIEF moments of weakness I have not yet become so desperate. Let's hope that the loneliness doesn't sink me to that level.

I need to go to ATL to visit L. at some point. I haven't had an opportunity to do that yet. I would say I might do that this weekend but I am going w/ the youth group at the church to go to a MAZE MAZE (Corn Maze).

The preacher's youngest daughter may be staying w/ me Sat night as well. She has taken a liking to me b/c she can pick on me and I pick back. I always did like a kid that I could give grief and they would laugh and dish it right back. HEE HEE HEE!

I have started singing w/ the praise and worship group at the church. I think that I did it as more of a way to give me something to do and to get the preacher off my back about playing an instrument or something for church. I know that he just wants me to be an active member and wants to include me in things at the church but there are times that it comes off as pushy...and if you know much about me...you know how well that goes over w/ me. But you would be proud, I haven't pushed back yet. I have actually been REALLY polite about it.....all the while biting my tongue.

I went back home and took the QA again. I am hoping that I get 3's this time. Several ppl are saying that it's easier to get 3's now b/c they have more ppl observing the videos. I will say that the ppl that they have on the testing videos are easier to understand now than they have been in the past however, there are times that they do not provide enough lag time. Oh well, those tests are never set up for what it should be like in real life situations.

B. just bought some land and is putting a mobile on it and should be moving into it before the end of the year. I'm excited for her. She said that it seems weird and rewarding to actually own something like that. Guess that means I can hang up on hoping that she will move up here and be my roommate at some point. Oh well, maybe she'll still come up for a visit or two.


So has anyone figured out how to grow money on trees yet? I'm still waiting. Maybe next time huh? Keep me posted!

The Answers......now I get it

This weekend was generally uneventful. I stayed home and was basically a shut-in until Sunday morning when I got up, went to church, came home and locked myself back in my house again. Geez, makes me sound like a paranoid old lady that thinks that the evil ppl are coming after her if she steps out of the house for anything other than church and to feed the gazillion cats that have accumulated around her house. I'm good though....b/c at this point there are only 2 cats....lol.

I did receive a surprising phone call on Friday though. A guy that I grew up w/, W., gave me a call. We literally grew up together and were more like brother and sister than anything; so much so that we ever fought like brother and sister (at least until his mom made us hug, kiss, and make up). He works w/ the USDA or something like that now. He's a produce inspector so he is on the road a lot. (What is it w/ me and guys who are on the road more often than not?) I talked to him on Friday for about 2 hours and a little on Sat. He had planned to come and visit on Sat. on his way home but it didn't work out where he was able to do that. DARN!!! He's hoping that they will send him back to NC during the C-mas holidays and he can leave a day or so early and come visit me. :oD

*sigh* All these ppl keep promising to visit......but I have only had 1 person who actually has. I'm hoping that B. will be able to soon. My parents will be here in 2 weeks on their way to NC and then I have to go home that Monday for my test. I was hoping that I would be able to go home on the weekend of the 22nd b/c that is when they are having my nephew's b-day party but unless gas prices drop drastically I won't have the money to do that. I was excited last night when I sat down to pay the bills and I actually had a decent amount of money left in the bank but then I remembered this morning that I haven't paid the rent yet this month so I have to do that which will then leave me w/ about $97 dollars to live on for the month. I am hoping that someone will soon figure out how to grow money on trees. It's a dream we have all had or considered but no one has been able to successfully pull it off yet. Let me know when you guys do, I will be one of the first in line to get one.........or a grove worth.

Even The Bible says that "money answereth all things." Ecclesiastes 10:19

Hum....this would explain why I am never able to find the answers!